feeling hopeless

I'm not normally like this but I've been sitting in my house crying for the past 1.5 hours.. I thought I would feel better once school was out but since then I've been feeling worse.

I woke up at 4:30 pm today because I never sleep at night anymore..I've been binge eating and throwing up once or twice a day and always feel awful. It's not good because I purposely avoid people so I'm always alone. I can't stand being around others because it seems like they don't understand what I feel like, and talking or smiling is painful. I haven't had friends in years and all of my time is occupied with my toxic behavior.

I just feel really lost and don't know what to do anymore..and don't have anyone to talk to. I wish I could find a way to get out of this

I feel a lot of the same things. Want to be friends?

I understand a lot what you're going through. I'm friendless and dealing with severe depression and a lot of anxiety. You can talk to me or you can post on here. I have no one to talk to either and I often find myself posting excessively on here even though no one replies to me but it's always liberating to just put your thoughts out for the world to see. If you're not already, you should try to see a therapist. I don't personally know how effective therapy is since I only started seeing my therapist last week but at least you'll have someone to talk to for an hour or so.

Again, you can always talk to me too.

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Are you seeing a T? Is there someone, a family member you can talk to to confide on the issues you're facing?

Could it be due to the fact that since school's out, you're not pretty much occupied as you were during the school term, and thus is feeling empty?

I'm concerned on your binge eating and throwing up, though.. I hope you do know this by now, but it's not good for your body. (something about gastric juices etc etc)

I hope you do find the courage to reach out and talk to someone.

I am finding out right now that even positive change can trigger a depression for me.

Pisces:
thanks for posting......I am attempting to reach out also.....feels good to realize I ain't the only one.....my depression, I guess, likes to make me believe I am the only one like this.....all that does is deepen my sufferring...............I'm new at this so not sure how to chat....

Lark...you're not alone at all. The depression certainly makes me feel that way. The only people that I can identify with are those that are online and depressed because people in my real life just don't seem to get me. I hope that the chats and posts on these pages are helpful to you.

Depressed people are normal people. I feel the sane always falling out with friends over nothing losing them after years of friendship.
The only real friends are family and relationship but the best thing for depression apart from pills is a specialist you trust and like and a dog. Walk ur neighbours dog you get so much joy from dogs you can talk to them (quietly lol) and they are always pleased to see you.
Don't bend over backwards too much for others they just take liberties be your own person and friends will come to you in time.
Goodluck

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