[Yogurtz]

As I have finished another exhausting and emotionally crippling day at work I am wondering what did I do wrong to be here like this? From what I can tell it seems like I have failed at virtually everything in my life, and there is nowhere and nothing I can succeed at.

For as long as I can remember I have failed in school, including all of elementary school. I did better in high school when I was enrolled in the Asperger’s class, but I still had to repeat some courses and I had to take the easier courses since I am not smart enough for the more academic ones. After high school I had to drop out three times from universities because I didn’t have any means of affording them and because it doesn’t seem like I am smart enough for that. It was then that I decided to attend truck driving school to see if that could work for me; I failed that twice, and as soon as I finished it, I was in a car accident and have now destroyed my license. Now employers treat me as if I have rabies. An accident I had when I was 22 will continue to haunt me and scare employers until I am at least 26. Eventually I found an employer willing to hire me, however 98% of what I do is not driving related, and I hate it there so much that I saw some broken glass and deliberately cut myself with it and shoved it inside of me so I have a reason to see the doctor to have it removed and, consequently, leave. But I can’t work anywhere else because I have no employable skills and a ruined license.

The future is not looking bright for me and I feel trapped – the combination of these creates serious thoughts. Never have I been successful in anything or anywhere. What did I do wrong? Am I not meant to be successful? Please tell me, I need answers. I can’t continue being me if this is what my life will always entail.

[waterknob1234]

Hi yogurtz. Did the incident with the glass happen today? I understand what it is like to not be happy at your workplace. I live with that everyday. I, too, feel like a failure. But I know in my heart we are not failures. Somewhere out there, there is something you can do that you will succeed at. Are you seeing a therapist? If not that might be a good idea. Know that we care, and keep posting here. You can message me anytime.