[pisces22]

I haven't posted in a few days. Since, Saturday or Friday I've been feeling more calm and in control but I wasn't all the way there. Yesterday, at night I was at a family thing for Father's Day and I was a little distracted but then out of nowhere I started getting very tense, anxious and quiet and started thinking about what makes me anxious. I just saw that everyone was so happy and carefree and I started feeling weird. I got home and felt very anxious and I was very tired and sleepy. I didn't need pills to sleep. I was genuinely sleepy. Which scared me a little because for weeks I haven't been sleepy. I thought I was gonna die in my sleep because it felt so weird that I was sleepy. It was the kind of sleepy that makes you dizzy and makes your eyes so heavy. It was weird. I slept okay, woke up a couple of times during the night but fell back asleep quick. This morning was horrible, all mornings are horrible. I think it might be because you expect to wake up from this horrible dream but then you realize that is not a dream, that this is reality. Every morning is the same. Also, I'm starting to scare myself. Before all of this, I did worry about my weight but the reason why I'm not eating is NOT because I want to lose weight. It's because I'm literally not hungry. Well I guess I have lost a lot of weight because my family told me "I look skinnier" and that scares me because I'm not eating well and I don't want to get sick but I'm not hungry at all, eating is such a big task and I have no energy. Sometimes I wish I could erase certain memories/thoughts from my mind like how they did in eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. Right now, I'm a little calmer than when I woke up but ugh everything is so weird. I don't have energy, hunger or any motivation for today. I wish this was a dream.

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[Travelinglady]

Hi, pisces22. I am sorry you are struggling so. Your lack of appetite could certainly be a symptom of depression and/or possibly the result of medications.

Are you seeing a therapist? I think you're at the point where you really need to be talking to someone. I find therapy along with medication helps to keep my depression at bay.

I hope you will begin to feel better before too long.

[pisces22]

Yeah, I think my lack of appetite is because of my depression/anxiety. I'm not taking medication but I'm seeing a therapist. I'm actually seeing her tomorrow and my doctor the day after tomorrow. I'm feeling way better at the moment. Lately I feel extremely depressed/anxious in the morning, everything eases during the day and then everything comes back at night and the cycle continues. The past weeks, it was constant depression/anxiety, no breaks. I'm just holding on to hope and positivity right now. I hope this is just an episode since I've only been feeling like this for a month and will go away and stay away for some years.

Thank you so much for the wishes

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[Nolafeline]

I am so sorry that you are going through such a horrific time. And I do mean horrific. I have been where you are. Where everyone is having fun except you, which makes you feel even more odd. So you go home and try and sleep it off, but you are so sleepy you panic and start thinking "what if I die in my sleep?".
May I please ask if you have a doctor? Are you taking any medication? If you are, talk to your doctor. It may be time for a switch over. When I start to feel "different" or "odd" I talk to him about my symptoms. Usually it is a dosage problem.
If you do not have a doctor. Ask your PCP to recommend one or to some Internet research.
I am so sorry you feel bad. I hope you smile again soon.

Nolafeline

[pisces22]

I do have a doctor but he has not prescribed me any medication for anxiety or depression. He did prescribe sleeping pills because I couldn't sleep at night and I've been taking them for almost a month. I once tried to sleep without the pill but I couldn't fall asleep because I was thinking too much. So last night, I found it very odd that I was so sleepy to the point where I felt dizzy. It's been months since I've been that sleepy.

I'm feeling better at the moment. Thanks

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[lizzyjb]

It is great hear you feel a little better and one night without pills. Congrats. Morning are always awful and scary, as does mine so I understand how you feel.
About food, it is happening the same to me. I don't have apetite, and hate thinking in what to cook. I have lost weight too. But you should be careful with that. Try to eat something you like. A bad diet can help to feel you worse. Talk to doctor about that. Mine has sent me a blood exams to corroborate that everything is all right. Tomorrow I'm going to see the results.
Please take care of you and get well.

[Fuzzybear]