[tickledviolet73]

Hi all, just joined today. I've been dealing with depression and anxiety issues for about 11 years now. The first event being the death of my father 11 years ago. Since then I've been managing it well but major life events seem to spiral it out of control. As I've gotten older the episodes seem darker and deeper. Specifically in the mornings. I recently ended a significant relationship and this morning I feel like an elephant of sadness is sitting on my chest. I can't get out of bed even though I've been awake since 3am. I'm not sure what to do but was hoping to talk to some people who have issues with depression in the mornings.

Thanks,
Violet

[maddnessreturns]

Getting out of bed and getting started can be the hardest part of someone with depression day. It is difficult and you aren't alone in that. Are you seeing a therapist to talk about these major life events? Maybe that could help you deal with them easier. Sometimes talking it through is very helpful. Also if the depression and anxiety is controlled well have you thought of looking into medication? If you find one that work it may help with the getting up in the mornings and getting going.

Hi Violet,

I know what it is like to deal with chronic depression. I also know what it's like for it to be worse in the mornings. Sometimes I feel great at night, only to wake up the next morning and feel like I have "rebooted" into a black hole.

Putting a time limit on how long I will stay in bed helps me. When I had a major episode about three years ago (after the breakup of a relationship). I would lay in bed for what seemed like 24 hours at a time. I'm not even sure how long it was at this point. Now, I tell myself, "OK, no matter what, you're getting out of bed before noon." It helps break the momentum of the illness. Sometimes just getting up and smelling fresh coffee helps immensely.

I agree about looking into medication. Seeing a psychiatrist would be ideal. I was recently diagnosed -- after suffering for most of my life -- and given medication. Just getting up to take my medication in the morning is a little act that reminds me I have plenty of good life to live.

I am reminded of something in myself when you say the episodes have been getting "darker and deeper." There is help out there. And there is a better day.

[tickledviolet73]

Thanks for your responses. It is morning here and the elephant is back. It's so strange waking up at 4am and not being able to go back to sleep but not wanting to get up or move either. Logging on and seeing your messages helps.

I am taking Venlafaxine 75mg daily. Before ending the relationship I was thinking about getting off of it. Now I'm thinking I may need more. That is distressing because I know getting off of it is not fun and I don't want to add to the dosage. I also was hoping to be med free one day and now that seems far away.

I do think I should talk to someone. My psychiatrist ended her practice last October and I was doing well then so I never looked into someone else but I will start to this week.

Cynosure -- coffee! It by far is the one thing that gets me off of my pillow. I program my coffee pot to be ready before I get up so I tell myself "all you have to do is drink a cup of coffee" and sometimes it works.

[Fuzzybear]

[BlueMoonBlueEarth]

The loss of a loved one is traumatizing for the bereaved. I am so sorry for your loss. Two days ago I woke up at 1am and felt awful with the waiting till morn'. I wish I could write more, but my mind always goes blank when replying to somebody's thread.

Originally Posted by tickledviolet73

Cynosure -- coffee! It by far is the one thing that gets me off of my pillow. I program my coffee pot to be ready before I get up so I tell myself "all you have to do is drink a cup of coffee" and sometimes it works.

I'm glad to hear this works for someone else. I'm sure it doesn't hurt that caffeine is a CNS stimulant. I've been trying to establish a morning work out routine for the same reason. Haven't gotten that one down yet.

Yes, I seem to have gloom and doom feelings in the mornings. There are times that I wake up around 4 AM and can not get back to sleep. It's that time when the self-pity thoughts whirl in my head. Getting out of bed in the morning has been such a drag for me, even with the early sunrises.

What's really weird is that I feel more doom and gloom on Saturday and Sunday mornings than I do on the weekdays. I feel more of it on Sunday mornings than Saturday mornings. Lately I have been feeling that way on the weekday mornings because I'm getting sick of my job. I loved it for a long time, but lately it seems like the people are whining and complaining more.

Also I have health anxiety. I was diagnosed with a physical disease. I don't want to say what it is. Despite the diagnosis, I feel fine. I keep thinking that it was a mistake. But I had other issues before and they were scary. But they came and went. And now, my brother who is close in age to me, has been diagnosed with COPD and sleep apnea. He and I never got along in our whole lives and still don't to this day. But I feel bad for him. Though he did live a reckless kind of life.

What has worked for me is having "Honey-Nut O's" cereal for breakfast. For some strange reason that particular cereal can turn my morning blahs upside down. Around lunch time I get health anxiety terrors. But after having lunch, an apple really helps with my mood.

[tickledviolet73]

Thanks for posting this Will19. Your story sounds just like mine as far as morning goes. I wake up super early and lay there and it's terrible. The weekends are similar. I'm struggling with being away from my family and not having one of my own and its glaringly obvious on the weekends what I am missing.

I love that Honey-Nut O's help you in the morning that made me smile. You are right food definitely helps and blood sugar levels are important to maintain.

[purpleapple]

Hey Violet,

Oh God yes. When I have episodes, the depression and crippling anxiety is always worse in the mornings, and I feel better in the evenings and night time. I think I read somewhere that it is a feature of Melancholic Depression.Blech it sucks. I don't know if it helps to have a solid name for it, but yes, it's a thing. I try to sleep as late as I can to"miss" the really bad a.m. hours. I hope you're feeling better soon.

[Altered Moment]

I am curious to know if you had a history of depression before 11 years ago? Welcome to PC by the way. It could be you never fully grieved the loss of your father and now with a break up, which also requires a grieving process, it could have triggered unresolved grief. I know you never get over a loss like that but the goal is to get to a place of acceptance where it doesn't cause depression anymore. If you had no history before then maybe some grief counseling and therapy would solve the issue. Even meds are sometimes used for people who get stuck in grief. So many things can be sub conscience we are not even aware of what is going on.