Sudden emotional crash

So I've been having a really good few weeks. This guy at work that I've had a crush on for years suddenly took notice in me. We like all of the same tv shows, movies and music. For weeks we have been texting all night every night. I asked him if he would want to go see a movie sometime, and he said yes. Naturally, I assumed he likes me. I've been talking to my friends and family about him. One coworker told be to be weary because he is chummy with a lot of girls. So, I started freaking out and got really depressed. So I talked to him- he's really easy to talk. I told him that since he tells me I'm amazing all of the time that I thought (stupidly) that he liked me, and he didn't really say anything. So I said I knew how ridiculous it was that he could like someone like me and he said I was being too hard on myself. For the first time in years i actually wanted life because of him, and overnight that is over. We are still friends, but I seriously started falling for this guy. My mom told me that I'm too depressed all of the time and why would he want to be near anyone like that. Now, I would give anything for my life to be over. I don't know how to deal. I don't want to deal. I just lost my best friend due to a fight, and he made all ok. What do I do now? The pain is so bad that running a push pin across my leg doesn't even work anymore. The thought of a few more days living like this is awful, but for another 60 years? I'm 23, he's the first guy to, I thought, show interest, and to find out I'm just an idiot is awful.

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Hello Alone91,

Beware of the depression telling you lies. It sounds like he still likes you as he told you not to be so hard on yourself. Keep going, who knows what delights await you in the future.

Did he actually say he didn't like you that way?

I wouldn't say you are doomed for 60 years. As you said you were doing good up until this happened. I know how you feel though. I have not been in a relationship in a long time. I think mainly due to my depression. I get to thinking who would really want to be with me and put up with all that depression. I am 50 and have had lots of relationships and even a marriage in the past in spite of my problems so it is possible. You are 23 and there is someone out there for you if it is not this guy. We deserve to have someone too I often think but then I think that it will never happen for me. So I dunno. I try very hard not to base my well being on outside circumstances. Of course this is very difficult.

I agree with the above posts, Alone91. Depression is one of the most insidious liars...it can convince you that your ugly, stupid, and foolish for even trying. But that's all that it is, a black-mood liar.

If he doesn't like you 'in that way', don't think no one will. It seems like you're 'old' too, at 23...another lie. You're young enough to engage your whole life, yet old enough to have a better idea of what you want, and who would be the best type of guy for you.

Please, listen to us, not your depression. You are worth knowing, and loving, and one day someone will show you that better than any words of comfort we could offer. Until then....remember our words. Believe them.

Take care

Thanks everyone. I know I need to change, I just don't know how. And no he didn't come right out and say that he didn't like me that way, but he did say I don't need a guy.

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