Can you be depressed without feeling depressed...?

Hi, I take a mood stabilizer for bipolar. I have depressive bipolar.

When the med first started I noticed a lot of positive actions on my part. I kept my house nicer etc..

I feel like I'm slipping into depression but? I don't feel depressed? Necessarily? But I'm having trouble getting motivated etc. my house isn't as neat, for example.

I am literally terrified of sliding again. Is depression more than the *feeling*? Is it also diagnosed by action (inaction).

I did halve my med back about a week ago in order to break through a terrible brain fog. I'm also on a ketogenic diet about 2 weeks because that's been proven to help bipolar, and I didn't want to just oh and halve my med without doing something else to help make up for it.
(My doctor knows).
Is it possible what I'm feeling is absolutely normal?? I haven't slipped entirely, Ive just become a little too dependent on my med to numb me completely, which is why for my jobs sake I had to reduce the med. (I couldn't function). Thanks for reading this.

I think those feelings of not being motivated, etc. can be symptoms of depression. So, I think the answer to your question is "yes."

When I first went on my anti d's I felt like I slowed down because they were put with wellbutrin for ADD. So yeah, what I think is being depressed is the rest of the world's 'normal'

My biggest symptom with depression is lack of motivation. I don't think of it as a feeling. Depression makes me numb not sad.

A little less motivation does not really mean you are depressed though. I would watch for other symptoms. Or if the lack of motivation gets worse.

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When I saw this post, I immediately thought of Rapid cycling and mixed states as "Waves"

Without getting completely philosophical, I think it's important to define what depression looks like for you. That, and make a differentiation between mood, energy, thoughts, etc.

For instance, it is possible to be in a "manic stupor" or in an "agitated depression." And there are strains of depression. Ever discussed that with a clinician?

Take me for example. My chronic depression tends to manifest as dysthymia that looks like extreme cynicism when presented in my personality. My severe episodes, on the other hand, tend to be melancholic and suicidal. I can swing from anhedonic and crying to agitated and impulsive.

But look at Zinco. He says depression makes him numb.

What am I saying? It's complicated. Talk to a psychologist or psychiatrist. It is perfectly possible you are in a relatively normal phase and lacking some motivation right now. Normal people aren't always motivated.

And one thing I am absolutely sure of: Overthinking it isn't going to help. Try to put a time limit on analyzing it. If you are feeling afraid, ask your doc so you can get some reassurance.

Wow mummy did you hit the nail on the head with this one. I feel the exact same way. I've been dealing with some extreme fatigue for the past 2 months and every doctor that I've seen always brings up my depression. But I don't FEEL depressed. I'm just physically and mentally exhausted. At this point I am starting to believe that maybe my depression is creeping back in. But I just don't feel as sad as I did prior to treatment. Good luck!

That is so true. I'm pretty sure I've always been depressed, but I rarely feel sad about anything. But, inaction and procrastination definitely.

Thanks to all who have replied thus far.

My theory on depression is there's stuff going on in the brain that goes well beyond the *feeling* depressed, and that meds don't treat this other part totally. It may sound dumb, but I really do believe this. The pain mechanism is a symptom, not the original cause. That said, the symptom is debilitating and needs treatment or it becomes part of the issue.

I'm achy today, want to go to bed, feel sluggish n lethargic, but thankfully my med invigorates me just enough to make sleeping impossible past my normal 8 hours.

It's so nice to find others go through this too. Makes me a little mad, too, though. You know? I want to yell at my therapist and say, why didn't they ever tell me I could get the other symptoms without the sad thing? I guess I gotta work through it.

I'd still love to hear other perspectives on this phenomenon. It just isn't discussed well enough in therapy, if at all! Thank you!!

I hear ya totally!! My brain was already in a fog, and I felt it creeping on anyway. Reduced my med to make me function able, but while my brain feels WONDERFUL, I've lost some of the motivation-restlessness-I originally had seen when I started Abilify. Can't increase it, though. Yes, I think a p doc visits in order, only I hope he has a cancellation, or else I'll have to wait 2 full months.

You mentioned the doctors think it's related to your depression. What did they offer to do for you?

For me it is mostly a physical thing in that I have no energy or motivation and want to sleep all the time. But there is also the no interest in things, not caring, don't want to be around people. Feeling wise I am numb but I do feel shame about it. It is a mixed bag.

At this point after so much therapy and support groups etc I think it is very biological for me. Maybe it is possible to get at the core cause chemically but they are a long way from it. The good news is things like therapy, group support, meditation, exercise, purpose, etc do change brain chemistry.

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Mummy, the doctor's really haven't offered anything. I've had 3 doctor's do different blood tests with the results normal. I've yet to go back to the third doc but I'll see him next week. The second doc put me on a vitamin regime and told me to come back in 2 months. I only went to the 3rd doc because I didn't feel I had 2 months to wait. So really nothing. But everyone is different and it's a good idea to check with your p doc to make sure nothing is off. Let us know how it turns out!

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No one mentioned thyroid. Have they checked that? They should check that first just to rule it out.

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My current cycle of depressive episodes started with lack of motivation, I remember becoming less and less involved in my employment, followed by isolation from my colleagues. Meanwhile my sleep started to deteriorate too. That went on for nearly a year before I finally twigged I was in the grip of a fairly serious depressive episode. I started up with anti-depressants after 8 years med free and that's when the numbness and anhedonia kicked in, maybe it was the meds, maybe just coincidence.

It took three changes of meds before I found one that worked, then I became rather "too" happy, over-excited, hyper-stimulated. Then I crashed big time into a far more "typical for me" melancholic depression. At the time I was taking Effexor and my doc kept pumping up the dose, eventually to 375mg, each increase of dose brought about a small improvement but it never lasted and at that dose I was pretty much a zombie, I didn't feel sad, I just couldn't concentrate, had no interest in life and felt completely hopeless.

Another change of meds numbed me down again to the point where I felt I was actually dead and then some other meds that I was prescribed for a different problem triggered paranoia and suicidal urges. During this phase I was not really able to self-care. I think I've only changed my bed linen three times this year, normally it would be once a week, even when I did change the linen I didn't launder it, I just left it on the bedroom floor. I felt huge shame about my slovenliness. Somewhere along the line I started getting anxious too, that's a pretty new symptom for me and it absolutely floors me when it kicks in.

Finally, I seem to have found a bit of stability with my latest med and I've lost the anhedonia and feel alive and thankful to be alive, it is early days yet and for a few days I've been triggered back into an anxious, irritable and weepy low mood by hormones.

So as far as I'm concerned, and it seems from the stories other people have shared, there isn't really a norm for depression, it is a cluster of symptoms that change in combination or intensity or both. The symptoms vary both within episodes and between episodes and cycles.

Sometimes I think depression could also be called emotional suppression or recession, or even emotional retrogression. But, to me it's more than just feeling sad, in fact, sadness is not an emotion I feel during depression. It's more like a "dead" feeling with general lack of enthusiasm and will to live/enjoy life, but it's so overwhelming that it begins to have a negative impact on the person's life. It's a state of being, not a feeling.

Effexor did the exact same thing to me!!!!! Turns out it was a manic phase brought on. Your drs should have immediately stopped it.

I'm on abilify now, even with issues it beats Effexor for me, hands down.