I don't know what to do !

Hello,
I had my first bout of depression in 1996 , however I have been healthy for at least 9 years. I have had quite a few challenges between those years but I seem to deal with them well ( for example my husband beind diagnosed with cancer two weeks before our wedding, he is great now )
Since last summer I have been suffering with severe major depression. I was in hospital for two months and had ECT 12 times. When I was released in October I felt good, I had energy and drive. My family had been through sheer hell while I was away, the children didn't understand.
Well once again I feel I'm back to where I was in Aug , I spend most of my day in bed and have no energy. I am taken my meds, which the doctor just increased. But I am feeling things are just hopeless at the moment and I'm making everybody else's life miserable in the process.
I am trying to do the positive thinking , but I am feeling really desparate at the moment . I really don't want to have another spell in hospital because of the children , and my husband whose to pick up the pieces by himself.

i am so sorry that you're having such a very hard time right now. i can imagine how worried you are about things......but, try to keep going forward.....talk to your doctor and if you have a therapist, perhaps you can increase the times that you see the T.

i understand how hard it is for you to be away from your children and husband. but sometimes we have to do short term things for the long term.......please keep us updated........keep posting.......pat

Leonora Just Remember Love Conquers all things.... I'm not sure how old your children are, but they Love you I'm sure....and all they want is for there Mama to be well... N live to see them Grown, and possibly Grandbooboos one day...

I'm gonna tell you my lil story, I've been married to my husband for 17yrs, he took care of EVERYTHING... I mean EVERYTHING...from bills, to cars, you name it he was the sole bread winner in our family.... in 2003 He and our son who at the time was 13 or so.... was at wal-mart, and he had his first break~he thought people were plotting against him....He ran into the office, and had them call the athourities....well he took meds, and took a couple weeks off, and I thought was doing fine.....

Well last year, he started acting different again, prolly before that too, but I just didnt notice...First sign was in April, he seen his theropist, and took his meds just as told... well things got better, and then again he started doing things, I found unusal...we didn't spend alot of time together... thought that was how things go, when ya married for a long time.....anyways.. In Sept, he done some serious things, giving all our assets away, etc....I later found out he had gone, Hyporeligious....anyways....I had to have him commeted....GIRL...TAWK about something HARD TO DO....But I knew If i did not do this, he would prolly end up dead, or lost in the world.....He was losing all touches with reality....It was and I repeat the HARDEST THING I"VE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE....He is now on some new medications, symbax is one of them....He is doing so much better, He has retired since these things seem to have been triggered from his job.....

I guess in saying all that I'm trying to say.... I was TOTALY dependent on him....Now....He is totaly dependent on me....N even though sometimes it gets heavy and I get fussy with him.... I HAVE A PURPOSE .... where before He took care of everything, I didnt feel like a wife, I felt more like his friend, or his kept woman...lol...pfft... anyways.... Its OK, To let go of things, and let others take care of them.....Believe me....I'm one of the caregivers to someone who is batteling depression, delusions, and who knows what else....in his mind....But I love him....I'm his wife...He would Not walk out on me, if it were me....Believe...ME.. I've been VERY DEPRESSED TOO....N other things....N he carried me......Now It's my turn to carry him.... Let your FAMILY CARRY YOU....YOU DON"T HAVE TO DO IT ALL!.....I just bout guarntee you, they want YOU WELL....No matter what the sacrfices may be for them....It only makes them grow as well....

You get yourself Well....thas the Most Important thing right now!