[Idiot17]

I have a friend's wedding coming up. The wedding is in a different city and I've got two reasons why i shouldn't go.

1. If I go it means I'll be taking off a day of work. With the workload I have (work nearly 12 hrs a day) I can't really afford the time loss. (Obviously family and friends don't agree with this 'work problem').

2. I'll be meeting people that I 'dislike'. I'm scared of what I can do to them if they even glance my way. I'm scared of what I can do if I'm in the same city as them nevermind the same wedding.

For the anxiety itself I don't think it makes sense to go. Yet all my 'friends' and 'family members' are pushing me to go. Every two minutes they ask if I booked tickets, where I'm staying, if I told my boss etc etc.

The anxiety for this stupid decision is immobilizing me.

Opinions on this decision please.??

[Clara22]

What do you want to do? I mean, beyond what you feel you should? I imagine your family pushing (my sister was particularly pushy), I think it is easier to face pushers when we are clear about our own desires. Is there any part of you that would like to go?

[tigerlily84]

Wedding anxiety is no joke. It's been almost a year since I was in my brother's wedding and I had no date at 29 (Shocking, I know!). So I definitely get it.

I agree with Clara though -- think about what YOU want. My old T suggested that I write it down. Regarding work: is there anyone else that could possibly cover for you during the time that you'll be gone? Surely you aren't the only one that is requesting time off. And it's only 1 day. It doesn't hurt to ask. When is the wedding?

You mentioned that you're scared of what you'll do to the people that you don't like. What is it that you think that you'll do if you see them?

[Little Jay]

I totally understand this, I have a wedding coming up myself. There are always so many people I don't like and can't stand I know I'm going to wish I hadn't gone almost the second I get there, but as it's a family wedding of course i'm expected to go, plus I want to show my support for my aunt whose getting married as she's been a big part of my life. My old T taught me a trick called seven eleven breathing to calm me down it slows your heart back down too, you breathe in for seven seconds, then breathe out for eleven. So when I start to get anxious I do this to try and calm myself. It also gives me a bit of a distraction because I can focus on the counting other than whatever is worrying me. Maybe try this out and see if it helps? At the end of the day, you have to think about your own health and what you want. If you really don't want to go then I'm sure your friend would be understanding if you explained.

[Jolisse]

If the wedding is creating this much anxiety, I would stay home.
I hate being inconvenienced to go any gathering, when I don't want to be there.
You have a right to say "no"! Send your regards and tell your friend you can't get away from work.
Make a decision and move on, you'll see your anxiety level decrease.

[Altered Moment]

I have missed many family events because of depression. My parents understand but others get very disappointed. I quit feeling guilty along time ago.

I think Jollise is right. You have to make the desicion that is right for you and forget what others think and then the anxiety will go away.

[Sugar baby]

I too avoid gatherings of family and friends due to anxiety of being around other people mostly stay to myself on those days I am very much withdrawn and depressed :-(

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[music junkie]

I skipped my "best friend from high school"'s wedding because I kept coming up with more reasons NOT to go, than to go. I sadly realized I really didn't care that much about her wedding, & that it would be selfish of me to go & worry more about myself & my anxiety than to celebrate her big day. So I stayed home.

[Idiot17]

I don't want to go and I'll most likely have no guilt for not going. But everyone will make me feel guilty and won't let me live it down.

And since when do I do what I want. What's good for me.

Grrrrrr.ugh.