[jrae]

I am in one 'h' of a situation right now. and the stress of it all is almost unbearable. here's my situation:

the place I am living at right now will probably be sold in the next two months. I have no money, no job, and a severe mental illness that keeps me from that. So now, I have about six weeks to find a new place to live. the biggest problem with that, is I've finally found something that helps make my severe depression 'not as bad'. (and I've been searching for something to do that, like meds/therapy, for over eight years now) and the something that helps happens to be living on a farm out in the country, with open space, a big lawn, and pets outside. the problem is I can't afford that on my own!

my parents are helping out with my bills right now. and I know they've been through a lot over the past few years, helping to support me financially. so how can I ask (or expect) them to pay the big amount it could cost for me to continue living on a farm?! yet for the first time in about eight years, I can actually say I've found something that is 'helping me' (living on a farm)! and I know from past experience that living in an apartment in town in not a 'healthy' thing for me. last time I did that, I just stayed inside like ninety percent of the time.

I don't know what to do. and I am not a confrontational type person, who will stand there and argue with someone until I get my way or my point across. I am a strong introvert! so having these types of conversations with my parents doesn't go well, as I usually end up being the one who gets 'cornered' by their words & actions and I have no quick responses to defend myself. which only makes this whole thing much worse. (btw, my parents and I are not close at all)

i have no idea what to do. do i fight for what i know could help me, even though it would much cost more?? or do i just back down and let the one thing I've been searching for slip through my hands?? do i fall back into a living situation where my depression could possibly consume me?? or do i battle to keep my 'life-line', no matter what the price may be??

the only thing i know for sure is, i can't keep doing this much longer. it takes everything I've got just to keep myself going from week to week. and after many years of searching for something that helps and NOT finding it (like the right meds or therapist...), i am grower weaker and less hopeful by the day!!! so what the 'h' do i do now?!?!

[glok]

Hello, jrae. I suggestion if for you to talk to your parents to see if they might agree to help you. Will the farm be a source of income? If it is, will you eventually be able to handle the expenses yourself?

[Rohag]

Hello, Jrae. This is a dilemma.

Is there someone near who knows the local area (clergy? chamber of commerce?) who might advise you on affordable farm-living options?

[Juleeo]

jrae, I'm so very sorry for what you're going through. It does sound as if you're exhausted. Having grown up on a farm, I truly agree that the air, the animals, just the general feeling of country, is healing and wonderful, and I hope and pray you can continue there. I don't have all the practical help available at my fingertips, but I know where there IS some, though I don't know what you've tried and what you haven't. However, here it is, and if you can use it, I'm glad: hospital mental health centers have free information, pamphlets, addresses and phone numbers of places and people you could start with. Usually, I've found, if I start searching and try to talk to people in professional situations like that, something pops up that might help. Churches, pastors, also have information like this. These are people who usually want to help. You're not always going to find 100% friendly, caring people, but your odds are better if you go to places like that and explain your situation. You may have to repeat yourself often, but each time you do it's a step toward an answer.

Please forgive me if this doesn't help. I will hold you in good thoughts, and I'll pray for you. With sincere caring, Juleeo

[jrae]

I'll explain a little more about things. I live on a farmsite right now that is owned by a relative, so I actually don't pay any rent. I just make sure the place stays looking good (like lawn, trees, buildings...). all I would be looking for is something similar, just a small farmsite- house, garage, and a building to use for some outdoor pets. don't need any sheds or bins or gardens or things like that. I'm looking for just a farmsite, NOT the farmland that surrounds it. so no, it wouldn't be a 'source of income'. (unless it had a big machine shed I could rent out, but that would make the rent cost even higher to start with)

and I never thought about asking the area pastors if they knew of anyone. but I will do that, look up area rural churches and contact the pastors to see if they know of anyone. and my uncle is a big seed seller in this area, so I'm also seeing if he knows of anyone I can contact.

[Clara22]

Hi,
In my country people get jobs including housing like you describe. Sometimes the job is not very demanding, the pay is low but you can inhabit the farming side house by doing some general tasks. Perhaps there are some deals like that in your country but perhaps you may need to explore in different states until you find the deal you like

[Juleeo]

OK, jrae, here's some stuff that might help -- even if you find part of an answer, it should do something!

In my search engine (IE11), I typed this: 'places to contact for help when you're in all kinds of trouble.' I'll give you what I think might be some good places/answers to go with, to begin:

Womenshealth.gov -- this one is mostly about mental health, but it should branch out into more kinds of help, or links, that might be the more practical kinds of help you need right now. BUT, that place has a link to:

USA.gov -- Government Services and Information | USA.gov All KINDS of stuff here! Housing, too -- I have no idea how you'd go about finding out re: farm or urban living, but it's amazing how many places are out there that are trying to find people TO help. Even in these crazy times! The whole first page has places you can link to, and an arrow that links you to many more help organizations.

Some things I came across on USA.gov's FAQ pages (find that FAQ link at bottom)

USA.gov: The U.S. Government's Official Web Portal

Below is the end of a bulleted list of 'helps' on the FAQ page -- I thought it was good & just wanted you to read it first-hand. I think the link above will take you to that:

If you are a rural resident, you may also want to contact the local Rural Development (RD) office. These offices can help rural residents through the Rural Housing Service.
If you are a person with a disability, information on housing options is available through Disability.gov.

And try this: Be brave -- I'm the worst to give you that advice, sorry -- I've never been brave myself, but I DID find that when I was really down and out, just "biting the bullet" and calling people like those who are supposed to work for me as a citizen of America -- you know, congressmen, whatever...those calls usually led to people who want to help (sometimes not, but...I mean, sometimes you run into people who just want to get out of their office and go to lunch!) and if they can't, they can lead you to somewhere where you can get answers.

The best way, for ME (not trying to control, here, just suggesting) is always to pray first - I just talk to God the very way I'm talking to you now, like a conversation, and although He always knows anyway, I tell him what's going on with me -- out loud, if privacy is available. He's really interested in what we have to say, even if things can't work out the way we want them to -- that (the "can't") seems, to me, to have to do with the war that's going on here on earth between good and evil, but I'm no genius about those things..) THEN I do the searches or calls or anything I can, because energy like that seems to attract MORE energy like that -- true! And when I get tired of it, I just quit, do something fun or sleep or try to be good to myself in some way. And I wait awhile -- but not too long, just long enough to get a bit rested & charged again). And if I haven't gotten any results, I put something silly like what I wrote, back into a search engine and go at it again (after I talk to God about it, tell him "where I am in the process," etc.)

There are SO many places to click on that MIGHT help in some way that I'm just going to leave things there and go talk to God about you. Take care -- all is not lost, and neither are you. But as you probably know well, things don't move a lot unless you at least try to move them first.... with hope for both of us, Juleeo I know sometimes this kind of 'help' is not needed or wanted, so I won't write again unless you ask me something...in friendship, Me...