Support system for cancer patient?

I recently got the message that everyone fears, I have cancer. It's in an early stage and only affects a smaller area, however there's still a lot of tests to be performed and the problem I now face is how to handle all of this.

My family cannot know, though I realize that this is probably impossible to keep hidden for long, mostly due to the surgery and other factors.

For now I stand alone with this and I cannot rely on anyone in my family.

I was then thinking if anyone had any other solution for a support system? I know there's a lot of forums out there and so on and I always know there are centers for cancer patients, but have any of you had any experience with these?

Hi, Nat92. I am sorry to hear of your diagnosis, but I trust all will go well. It is a scary thing to contemplate.

I know there are some cancer support groups around where I live. Maybe your doctor knows about some or even your hospital might have some.

I also know some folks here at PC who have had cancer, so maybe they will have some ideas, too.

I would think there are even books to help support cancer patients.

You will be okay.

HI Nat

Sorry to hear of what happened. I was diagnosed with cancer myself recently. You didn't say what it is, but I kind of get the feeling that from your description that I have the same thing. Maybe the cancer has caused your depression, or you have depression because of the cancer.

I went to a support group for it, and at first it was OK. But after a while, I got tired of it. They talked too much technical and medical language that I could not understand. And it would just drag on and on. They were nice guys, but I couldn't deal with it after a while.

On the forum boards, it may be similar to this place. I have gone to the forum boards about it and some of the stories were very drastic. So I found it to be more upsetting than uplifting. It would increase on my anxiety. Bear in mind that on forum boards, it's a free for all. Anything goes.

It sounds like to me that your cancer was caught early. If you can explore around and do your homework, perhaps the treatment maybe very simple for you. It might just be a minor radiation treatment that's like nothing or some little part can be cut out. Like I said I don't know what you have.

I got the message Monday after the past few weeks of tests, so I'm still adjusting to the thought of actually being sick. I'm extremely embarrassed by it as I actually didn't know there was anything like 'colon cancer' - but that's the type I have. It's a smaller area, so it'll most likely be done by surgery, but they have a few more tests to run. The doctors were rather vague and as I stand in this myself, I feel uneasy not fully being able to understand what they're saying.

I'm not feeling any comfort with statistics or rates, medical language is confusing because there's way too many mistakes made etc, but I do trust I'm in good hands.

I have had been thinking about visiting one of the centers for patients, but I fear it may not be what I need. I can't just sit down and spill the beans, I'm too... closed up. Even just coming here has been hard, but I needed to tell someone.

I'm not at all seeking pity or sympathy.

I'm sorry your experience was disappointing, I guess I fear that too.

I hope you're well, hugs to you.

This isn't at all pity for you dear, I am just so sorry you got this news and right now it's weighing really heavy on you.

I do not have cancer myself, but I am on chemotherapy, so I spend a lot of time around cancer patients in the infusion center. A lot of them go to groups aimed at their age groups, but I do think that depends on the kind of person you are. I have a few extreme autoimmune diseases and I lasted a few months in a support group where I really didn't speak, but it helped just.... being in a room with people who understood how life changing it is. Even that gave my mind a bit of a break.

There are online communities too. If you're interested in blogging, I know tumblr has a huge cancer network and they are all so great to each other.

Please do take care <3 many hugs

Thank you for your kind words.

I've done a bit of extra research on some of the communities/centers that offer these types of services and there does appear to be a fair few groups within my age.

I'll try to make it to one perhaps tomorrow, then we'll see how it goes.

Hey Nat92, I'm assuming the 92 stands for 1992? That makes you 21 or 22 right??

Regardless, I have cancer too. Lymphoma. I am 24.

I know it's scary, and you shouldn't be embarrassed. Cancer doesn't discriminate based on age or even health, nor does it define you. It happens to the healthiest, kindest, youngest of people every single day. It is absolutely unnecessary to go through this alone, because you are not!

Forums have been a great comfort to me, I go to a forum specifically for lymphoma and the people on there have the knowledge, insight and experience to know what I am going through and help me understand and cope with what's happening. I go to them with chemo side-effects that worry me, or when I'm scared about an upcoming surgery/biopsy/scan. I ask them about medical terminology and for advice. They have/are going through exactly what I am. Remember not all cancers, chemos or treatments are the same, so perhaps you could look for a colon cancer forum? It's reassuring for me to know I have these people I can go to.

And since your family is going to find out soon anyway, I think you should tell them ASAP. You are putting your body through unnecessary stress by keeping this huge terrifying secret, and that's the last thing your body needs right now. What difference would it make whether they find out now instead of later? Except that you won't be burned with fearing about having to tell them what's going on with you... You could be surprised with how much they'll help. It pulled my family closer, even my sister who hates me pulled through for me. I'll advise you to just do it, blurt it out and get it off of your chest. You're putting off the inevitable at the cost of your health.

As others have mentioned, there are support groups. Ask your hospital/oncology centre, they'll have psychologists or social workers that'll help or point you in the right direction.

There is also an American charity, specifically for young adults with cancer, called Stupid Cancer. They have a forum too, but i don't think it is that active, but their Facebook page is always buzzing with people. You can ask them questions too and you'll probably meet someone with colon cancer too, or someone who survived it. They're also working on an app, instapeer, that will connect you with someone your age going through your kind of cancer. They also made a video, that you'll find on YouTube, called I am Stupid Cancer, which I think you should watch immediately. It meant a tremendous amount to me, and made me feel like there are people out there that understand what I am going through.

I know what you're going through is scary, but remember, statistics mean nothing to the individual! There are appendicitis patients that die, and prostate cancer patients that live! And you should never let this get you down, your in for the fight of your life. You have joined an elite club, and I'm sorry you did, and this will change your whole life from now on. Cancer is lonely, but it shouldn't be!! There are so many people out there like you and like me, so why suffer in silence!

And don't worry about the medical lingo, you'll get there. And don't be scared to ask your doctor/s if you don't understand something!! And don't be scared to go for second opinions if you feel uneasy about something, a second opinion saved my life. Remember, even though you have a medical team providing you with the weapons to fight, it is your fight, your body, your responsibility. I keep all my blood results/X-rays/ct-scans/biopsies, etc. in a file, and I study my own case and make sure I know what's going on with me. No one will look after you, like you do, except perhaps a mother.

Don't be scared to ask for help, and you could try and message me or post a question on a forum or Facebook if you're scared or don't understand something. There is always help. And cry if you want to, be angry, scream, get fat, whatever! Do what you must to cope! It is your time now! Take it easy.

You got this, your case sounds good. So screw cancer! Now FIGHT back! We got this!!!

Thank you so so so so much! This really comforts me and it makes me smile! I'm almost in tears, so thank you so much!

I am 21, yes.

About the family issue, there's more than one reason for why I can't tell them. My grandmother is fighting lung cancer at the moment, it's terminal though and she's not in chemo.

My mother is stressed to the core and me telling her this would absolutely throw her off the edge. I can in NO WAY tell her, even if I'm burning to. Neither would it change much, my mother has a way of blaming me for my own sicknesses, my psoriasis, the depression - it's all on me.

She wouldn't understand and she would certainly not try to help.

I just couldn't bear to put more on her, it would break her down.

I've thought the most pressing scenarios through and how to handle them.

But thank you for your advice and I know I'll get through this. Your words really strengthened me.

I understand. That is unfortunate, my condolences.

I actually came across a similar scenario recently. There are people who refrain from telling loved ones to spare them the trauma. However you can imagine that the loved ones who were kept in the dark, sometimes resent not being told what's going on. But like you said, your family will find out eventually and I can understand why you choose not to say anything. You are very kind and considerate.

So like you said alternative support for cancer patients, I hope the advice I gave you is sufficient and I'm glad that I could help! There are going to be bad days, but the good days afterward should more than make up for it! But like I said, you're not alone in this, and if you need help just ask and you'll receive it.

“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” - Albus Dumbledore

Friends are also a big help, but cancer does however weed out your fake friends from the real ones and good riddance too! But you will also discover that people you didn't realize cared, have your back, you will find that you have friends in many people. And you'll make more through this cancer 'experience', through the hospital, forums, treatment centers, etc.

I should also mention that no one will really understand what you're going through unless they are going through cancer too. Be patient with people though, they try their best to comfort you and often don't know the right thing to say. Cancer is a one man battle.

We're young though, our odds are significantly better than most cancer patients, but attitude is just about everything when it comes to winning this fight, so keep your chin up at all times!! (Btw, cortisone/prednisone can make you temporarily depressed, but it passes quickly when you stop using it. Just so you're aware. I had it and it is important to remember that it passes!!!)

Best of luck with your grandmother, family and your own battle!

Please check in and keep us up to date with what's happening

Thank you all for your answers and advice, it really warms my heart and it makes me smile. I'm so happy I can come here for support and it comforts me to know there's people like you guys out there.

Aside from the nausea, headaches, the weakness and the constant tummy issues, I'm doing fairly well today.

The message still echoes but I'm not feeling anxious or scared.

I'll be getting the bio-treatment to keep it from spreading by next week and a few more tests are to be done.

I've been sticking to yogurt and toasted bread for now, because I don't want to upset my stomach.

Good luck for next week!

Thank you!