[Joey32225]

So I've been diagnosed with major depression disorder/w suicidal ideologies for maybe the last 4 or 5 years. My situation like living arrangements, kids, work and basically my life is extremely complicated. I've been on a lot of different types of antidepressants as of now I'm on 90mgs of prozac which doesn't seem to help. I was on Cymbalta 120 mgs daily for the past 2 years and have been coping ok. I lost my job and insurance so the Cymbalta was too expensive which is why I'm on prozac now. I'm drained physically, emotionally, socially ..you name it. So my pysch doc recently added adderall to kind of boost my mood and I can't tell a difference. Right now I'm on prozac 90mgs, seroquel 200mgs, Restoril 30mgs, adderall 10mgs and Klonopin 2mgs daily. I feel like I'm a burden and hopeless to those around me. Nobody really understands what I'm going through as far as my family. They try to be supportive but can't relate. I really just want to shake off this episode I'm going through. My kids are the only reason I'm still here and sometimes I think they'd be better off without me. Which I know isn't true but it can get overwhelming at times. Any help and support would be appreciated and helpful.

[Joey32225]

Also I found "ashamed" on the mood chart which is accurate. I'm a father and I'm supposed to be able to take care of my kids but cant. I'm supposed to have a job and I dont. As a male I feel as though I'm just supposed to be strong and carry the weight but I can't anymore. I don't know if this rant makes any sense maybe it does. I just don't know.