So Lonely

I just need to write tonight I am so lonely (extremely) even though I have family and friends that love me. Like Little Jay I wish I could just cry and maybe that would release something but just can't seem too. They always say a good cry helps well I agree problem is I can't.

I have not contacted any of my close friends as of late because I would feel I need to be honest but at the same time they don't want or need to here it from me anymore. I am so sick of the person I am right now it is not pretty. Funny just got a text from a dear long distance friend asking how it is going. I wrote okay but a bit difficult just putting one foot in front of the other. How much you want to bet I won't hear anymore from her. Not that I blame her who wants to keep hearing that news. Ugh...

Sometimes I feel what is the use going through the motions anymore I am so upset at myself that I cannot work through this it just hurts so much anymore and I get tired of fighting well thanks for letting me rant...

We are here with you snuggles. I know how it is. It is hard to talk about depression and problems with other folks and friends because they would never understand. And sometimes you just have to rant. This is a good place to do that. The beautiful thing is everybody here is very supportive and nonjudgmental. Hope you are feeling better soon.

I was hoping that I would feel better this morning but I don't I just feel worse. What is so wrong with me the friend I said wouldn't reply well didn't go figure. I just want to crawl in a hole. Is life worth living when your in this much pain physically and mentally quitting is not a option but it would be so much easier if it were.

I really don't want to go on anymore