[LostInParadise92]

Hello all,
I wanted to talk about feelings of sadness, depression caused by feeling let down by others in your life. For example, I feel like many people in my life have flaked out, ignored me, and just don't care about anyone other than themselves. This feeling has escalated ever since I moved to Los Angeles. I feel that most here is so self absorbed and vain. I have invested my time and energy with several people just to have them not care, blow me off. This has caused me to lose much faith in people and I have difficulty trusting anyone. My lack of trust has resulted in me losing jobs, friendships and opportunities therefore making me even more depressed. It has become a vicious cycle. I'm trying to stay as positive as I can in what seems to be a sea of negativity.
Do you feel like you are losing faith in humanity as well? How do you learn to trust people/let them into your life?

[Notoriousglo]

I feel the same as you....I feel a lot of anger in regards to the fact that I feel people are very predictable and I feel like I constantly put my needs aside because I don't feel confident enough to tell someone what I really feel and enforce it. Yet, I feel I'm constantly criticized at the same time. I never know which side is right. It causes me really bad anxiety. Part of your trust issues could be childhood residue-related, that's what I think mine are. Still, though I know nothing is ever certain and I keep having resistances to help. Idk, but yeah, I feel the same.

[glok]

Hello, LostInParadise92. I think you should focus on what you can do to make a better life for yourself.

I wish you well.

[vonmoxie]

Hi LostInParadise92,

I always hear this exact thing from friends that move to Los Angeles, that it's a place where you find out real quick who your friends are. I also notice though, that their friendships that have stood the test of time tend to be really solid.

Regional tendencies aside though, I am in the same boat. Haven't found a solution, but I really relate. An unfortunate barrage of sequential events in which others have betrayed me in some way seems to have turned off my ability to trust anyone but those who have long since completely proved themselves to me.

What I've been trying to do, is re-establish what good boundaries are, for me, while also opening myself up to more varied social situations (my newest thing is support groups .. like the Marla Singer character in Fight Club, although I'm not attending anything inapplicable to me) in order to exercise those boundaries. But it still feels as a loss, within myself, I suppose because the greater faith I had in others before was part of who I always was.

I've had to recalibrate before, but it can be overwhelming, as I am finding this time around.

Good luck! vonmoxie

“I hold this to be the highest task for a bond between two people:
that each protects the solitude of the other.”
— Rainer Maria Rilke

[Creative1onder]

I find it hard dealing with disappointments and when people are judging me/criticising me, putting me down, and abusive at times.

[Fuzzybear]

[Clara22]

I have felt the same in DC. There it is very difficult to make real friends. The majority of people are just temporarily there, and very focused on their own careers. But, on the other hand, since I started with my depression, I acknolewdge I was not making a lot of effort to cultivate friendship .

[Creative1onder]

I recognise that I want to interact with others more, feel less isolated and I appreciate it when I am able to engage quite well with some people. Its nice when people show compassion, care encouragement and support. Treat you with respect. But I've had trouble forming good friendships and keeping contact with people. I find when I do stuff in groups, I tend to feel quite anxious, am quiet, feel uncomfortable and not very present in what's going on. Sometimes I feel people ignore my presence don't want to talk to or include me .