New and looking for some hope

Hello... My name is Kelly and I'm 30 years young. I've recently hit rock bottom and figured I'd give this online world of support a try. From what I've read so far, this seems to be a kind caring community. Where do I start?? I've been battling generalized / social anxiety and depression on and off since I was a teen. Been on a variety of Anti-d's, (all of which had to go off of, after giving them a fair trial, due to my extreme sensitivity to side effects). Am currently just taking Klonopin for anxiety which helps a tiny bit, but not much. As of lately, my life is at a complete standstill and I feel absolutely lost, depressed, lonely and anxiety ridden. My license was suspended back in May 06" for six months and that is when I took a turn for the worse ....I lost all my independence. I had to rely on everyone to drive me around and take me places and in the process I lost my self-confidence and self-esteem. Now that I have my license back, I'm still not working since my anxiety symptoms have been overbearing and through the roof. Although, I have been looking non-stop, applying and faxing endless resumes in, but after months of having no solid structure, I feel like I'm on the inside looking out. Feel as if I've become agoraphobic upon the loss of my driving privileges but now that I have that back, I'm so very out of practice with living what one would call a "normal" life. Simple things such as driving to the store is enough to make me feel like I'm losing my mind. I don't want to sink any lower and to be honest don't think I can. I'm sick of crying, yet I can't stop. I'm here to meet new people who know what it's like to feel trapped and as if you're living under a dark cloud. Life should not have to be this way, yet why can't I just move on? I hope through this site I'll be able to find any words of encouragement and find hope for the future. Thanks for listening to me ramble.

i understand your frustration over the depresssion and anxiety. i have major depression and it can certainly eat our lunches......i have mild anxiety and have good days and bad days.

getting out and about might be easier if you just drove to a park or took a little drive outside of town........maybe go to the library. that's what i started with. it's quiet and everyone is minding their own business and i made a pretty good friend after going there so often.

have you talked to your doctor lately? i think that might be a good idea. maybe there's something that you can try for the depression that is new and won't cause some darned many side effects. i'm back on the old tried and true prozac now.....

keep me posted......xoxox pat

Hey Kelly,
I guess most of us feel that way. I know what you are gong through. All I can stay is hang in there. Things have got to get better...right. Sounds like you are at the bottom. Have you talked to any type of therapist? Maybe someone there can help.
By the way, I have been looking for a job since last April been on 9 interviews and sent out over 60+ resumes to businesses... so I know it is tough

I hope you are having a better day. I agree with what everyone is saying...

This maybe somewhat of the topic, but you mentioned sending out endless resumes. Over the last 15 years, I review a lot resumes.

Anyway my biggest recommendations are:

1. Memorable Cover Letter
2. Details, Details, Details - Dates worked 2003-2004 (general) - Dates worked 5/15/03 - 8/23/04 (better)
3. Track record - show your track record of successes - come up with 1 - 3 items that you did for each company you worked for that demonstrates your ability to accomplish something.

I know that this will probably sound very difficult especially how you are feeling.

If you or anyone else would like some help, please PM me. I've never used PM, but places and identifying items can be left out or x'd out and maybe I can help.

In general my life is in shambles, but work is one thing I seemed to be good at.

Direction

Hello Yearning,

Welcome to a great place.

I'm sorry you are struggling so much right now. I hope things get better for you soon.

Congrats on getting your license back. I agree with the other poster who suggested short trips. The library is a great idea; also a large bookstore that has a cafe where you could relax a while, or just a nice drive to some familiar places or landmarks while listening to music you enjoy. I understand how you feel agoraphobic. I moved to a new state, then lost my car almost 4 years ago and I have felt trapped to the point I don't want to go out even when I have the opportunity.

I also don't take meds for my depression but I do take Xanax sometimes for anxiety.Both the panic and anxiety and depression make me cry a lot too. Therapy helps too.

Have you registered with a temporary employment agency? So many companies use them now to do their HR work, screening applicants, that they have a lot to offer. And most don't charge the empoyee a fee; the fee is paid by the emploer. Where I work all employees are hired as temp-to-perm.

What would you describe as a normal life? Sometimes its good to think about things like that to give yourself an idea of a place to start; you can only start where you are and head in the direction you want to go. So, where would you like to go?

So glad you are here!



ECHOES

Hi Yearning,

Just wanted you to know that you aren't alone. There are alot of us struggling daily.
I, too, have been on Prozac for several years now. It made a difference in my life. I can't say that I don't have depression anymore but at least it isn't constant.
I wish you all the best and hope you find what you are lookng for.
Hugs,
Boopers