Feeling so useless

So I'm doing all the things I'm supposed to do , I'm taking my medication, I'm trying to be organized and stay positive but I just can't seem to get it right.
I had to ring in sick to work the other day because the Trazodone I'm on had made me so sedated that I felt like I wasn't safe to drive. I'm supposed to be on annual leave and I'm spending my time catching up on my paperwork because it's such an utter mess.
I'm terrified I'm going to get the sack from my job , I'm really struggling to manage my son's ASD and I can't stop crying. I just keep going off into these awful crying jags that don't seem to have any obvious trigger and are really hard to stop.
Really need to hear something hopeful because at the moment I could cheerfully just crawl back into bed and stay there.

I can totally relate. I'm taking my meds but still feel exactly as you do. Someone please help. I'd love to say something positive for you but unfortunately I'm exactly where you are.

I have this strange idea in my head that at some point things will get easier and it never seems to happen . I haven't even got any friends I could say just come over and we'll go for a walk or do something that would take my mind off it but I'd really like to stop crying .

Hi Barmum. I have taken trazodone for years with no problems. You might try taking half a dose and see if that helps with the drugged feeling, it should still help you sleep. And remember, getting better is a slow process.

Thank you Iris , unfortunately I can't cut the dose down because they're giving it me as an anti-d but I do need to remember that it's a slow process !

Still feeling like death warmed up. I've managed to persuade the Dr to drop my dose to 75mg but I keep feeling like I just want to go to sleep and not wake up. My motivation has totally bottomed out and I want to cry.

Feel so much better after chatting for a bit though

I'm glad you feel better. Has dropping the dose made you less groggy?

From the sounds of it, there's a lot going on at once. I think it would take a wizard to get absolutely everything right all the time.

Right , so a couple of days of lower dose has actually made me feel much better in terms of the grogginess !! I'm trying to make some positive changes by making sure my home is as nice and peaceful as it can be and taking advice from HR about whether I can move to a different team under the same employer so not dealing with the same thing at work :S
Hopefully that won't backfire because I've tried to keep my health out of it and just focused on if I'm in a different team then I can access help for my son without worrying about running into families I'm working with
Still seems like a lot of hard work and struggling with my motivation but did manage to take son out to do the tree top assault course he wanted to do for his birthday and bless him , he only baulked at the zip wire (after I'd gone down it and wanted to widdle the whole way !!!)

I take 100mg trazodone each night to help me sleep. Sometimes it makes me groggy but not always. I think it has to do with how well I sleep. I'm glad things are going better for you!

They've got me on 75mg and I think the how well I sleep is a big factor in the grogginess because it's often when we've had a bad night with my son so I've had to stay up to deal with him.
Fingers crossed things are going to go better . I'm just thinking if I get as much advice as I can and then make sure any changes are managed then they should be better !