[hvert]

I am constantly trying to be less negative. Unfortunately, my negative interpretation often feels closest to the truth.

I just got back from volunteering at a conference in exchange for attending at a reduced rate. I worked so much that I was unable to even see much of the conference.

The rational part of me knows that when someone asks me how it was, I should keep the complaints to a minimum and focus on something positive. It feels like lying, whether it is to myself or to others. How do other people get over this? Is my instinct right that it is better to not be/focus on the negative, even if that seems more true?

[regretful]

I think your instinct is right. It's just very difficult to focus on positives when depression is active (as it is with me). I've always thought that it takes little or no energy to find the negatives - it is like pointing out what is wrong, which is always easiest to see. The real challenge remains (as it does for me) to find something positive. Best wishes to you. I'd like to read the thoughts that others have on this.

[Clara22]

Hi
It helped me to understand where I took my negativity from also how rooted it was. I have a habit learned from my mom. Also, it helped me to forgive her and understand she had a hard childhood and her negativity was a defense mechanism for her (to anticipate to disappointment and thus have the illusion to have some control on things), Then I was able to hear the negative voice in me very loudly and then tell myself not to pay attention to it. But, I am not successful every single time.

[hvert]

Thank you-- I am sure a lot of my negative/paranoid outlook comes from observing my mother as well.

I have just never been able to get over the feeling that I am right about everything being bad (well, not everything), and other people are just deluded. Logically that makes no sense, but emotionally it's the way I feel.

Interestingly, when I look back at experiences I hated when I was going through them, a lot of that negative energy around them is gone. I once found a journal I'd kept years ago where I complained about my boss pretty dramatically -- and at the time I found the journal, I was very good friends with my (former) boss and the negatives were mostly forgotten.