[Hellion]

Uhh I get so fed up with being told in varying ways essentially 'you're just not trying hard enough', 'you're just not putting enough effort into it, or that there's nothing really wrong with me....just that I bring on how i feel myself by not being positive enough.....in relation to my psychological issues or hell even other things in life. Thing is I try as hard as I can just to get through the day without feeling like crap, or even putting on an act so as not to bother other people with being depressed and what not. My depression, PTSD, anxiety and autism spectrum disorder really do cause me difficulties in finding/maintaining employment, sometimes even accomplishing taking a shower throughout an entire day is extremely difficult.

But yes I have challenged myself, I've pushed myself even to the extent of over-doing it causing me to feel burnt out....and even though I feel like my situation sucks and my mental problems cause a lot of misery I still try not to see things entirely negatively....but yeah I am going to complain about things sucking sometimes, because they do and nothing wrong with venting.

So yeah sick of hearing that I am not trying hard enough and just need to be more positive....its simply not true, is dis-validating due to how hard I have f******ing tried at life. Does anyone else end up getting told things like that? And does it bother you a lot? also how do you cope with it without internalizing it and feeling like you have to push yourself harder....or that they are right and I simply am not trying hard enough and brought on all my problems myself.

[iditp20]

I have the same problem,.
It's usually people who have never suffered with depression or anxiety or any mental traumas, before. They think you can just snap out of it and that you can try hard enough, this is not true and there is usually no way or explaining this.

I feel your pain, I have an on going undiagnosed mental disorder, which I have no way of explaining, other than it has ruined my life since I was 11 years old...I am now 20.

[gayleggg]

Yeah, I've heard all that, too. I've suffered with depression for 30 years and heard that stuff alot. I to put on a mask with some people because I don't want them to see what I go through.

In fact, I got fired with 3 weeks notice, that took it's toll on me mentally worrying about how I would survive. Yesterday, I got a call and start a new job on Monday. I was elated but after a while the depression still underneath, told my I might not be good enough. So I got scared and my husband said, "You always find the negative" which makes me really upset but I've gotten so used to the comments over the years they don't bother me as much anymore. I am, what I am, and if someone doesn't like they can take a walk.

I've just learned to let it roll off. If all the doctors and I haven't been able to fix it in 30 years I doubt someone telling me to just be happy is going to work. It just show how little they know about mental illness.

[daisybelle01]

Hellion, I know exactly how you feel. Luckily my fiancé understands but my family just don't. All my mum can keep saying is "you have your wedding to look forward to" as if it's my fault I feel this way.

Big hugs. We've all had this at some point. I think you become resilient and know what to say to different people to avoid trauma. I just don't speak to my mum at the moment, less chance for her to tell me her narrow perspective.

[Fuzzybear]

[waterknob1234]

I have to deal with this garbage all the time. People act like its my fault I'm depressed. I get to the place I don't even want to talk about my issues with people around me 'because I don't want to hear their judgmental comments. "If you would look at the positive side of things you wouldn't be depressed. You make yourself depressed. You have to try harder." They don't know how hard I try. They don' t know how hard I fight depression. Lately I am labeled as "crazy" at work.

A well meaning friend faxed a note to my medical doctor that she would not show me. I think she was trying to tell him I am going "crazy". I had an appointment with him and told him about the secret note. I also asked if he would prescribe my antidepressants because I can no longer afford to see my psychiatrist and he said he would. I don't think any consequence came of the secret "note". People who don't understand depression just seem to make it worse. We deal with life the best we can

[Forever hopeful]

Oh gosh I know that to well. Sometimes I think it's me but realize I am a positive person even with this illness. Yes sometimes I dwell on I wish I could just get up and go but the reality like yourself taking a shower etc is tasking. On my really really good days in which has been few and far between. I wonder how it is possible to be so debilitated but in reality I know all to well. I think sometimes people don't think before they say stuff as well. My husband is very understanding and supportive. He does slip up with words sometimes that just makes me shake my head I know he didn't mean too. So yes some people are just ignorant of mental disabilities some are just like we all are human not meaning to be hurtful just a slip up.

[Silent Void]

I don't think you should apologize to the rest of us. We are all who we are, no apologies.

[Blues47]

That would bug me but I try not to tell people my short-term goals so they can't accuse me of not doing this or that. I just go about my business and hopefully accomplish what I set out to do without giving busybodies a chance to critique my process. It works to some extent but the backfire is that I sometimes go it alone when I might benefit from advice beyond Google.

[Steiner of Thule]

I relate with this a lot. I internalize it all and just feel like **** most of the time. The only time I don't feel like **** is if I complete isolate myself from any socialization. I always fail.

[unplugmealready]

My dad once turned to me and said "Son. You're not depressed. There's no such thing as depression" followed by these types of rants you are all speaking of. He did himself a long term injury 10 years ago and since then he cannot work and is now a sufferer himself of depression. He now knows what its like to feel like this and now sympathises with me. Others don't. My point is not that i have somehow got my revenge by this or any other horrible thing like that. More that, people never understand our pain and suffering unless the shoe is on the other foot. I have countlessly come across this througout life. We aren't lazy. We aren't making up excuses. We genuinly are unwell. A million text books could be wrote on this and my wife could read them all. But if I say to her "I don't want to go to this concert because there are too many people there" or " I just can't explain right now. I don't feel like it" I will still be labelled as selfish and told to "get a grip". I feel your pain. All of you.

[AngstyLady]

You know, I used to have to put up with that, but then I finally just said **** it- people are more understanding, and can tell if you re having a tough day, or whatever- **** the people expect you to be happy all the ******* time, it's simply unnatural! Especially with all the harrowing things going on in the world, sometimes it's hard to find things to even be happy about in the first place- except of course being happy that those we love are still alive and well . . . . . that's what I try to focus on, that and the resounding thought that things will get better . . .

[Creative1onder]

People like to be controlling and use others and make themselves look better/more important than you. I have also had comments like that and been bullied and abused. But its not worth listening, paying attention to others unhelpful judgements and criticism. But we do get in unhelpful negative ways of thinking and behaving that don't serve us well/are self destructive.

[Creative1onder]

The problem is some people are taught /learn to believe wrong things and they follow it blindly and then impose what they think is right on others without considering the effects and putting themselves in the other person's shoes.. Depression remains a complex issue for people to understand because it affects people in different ways, for different periods of time and varies in severity. I have talked to people about my mental health issues but its hard feeling really comfortable and free to express self about personal matters without receiving negative responses. I've said to people I have depression, its a severe illness but they don't believe that. Or they don't see it as physical illness just mental therefore to do with person's character, negative thoughts, and way of living.