Robin Williams dies.

Some people just can't take it anymore. They reach a really unbearable point. His demons got the better of him. But his talent lives on.

My mom says she heard an old interview by Terry Gross from NPR this morning. Aired in 2006 with Robin Williams. At that time he denied he had clinical depression. I just assumed he was getting the best possible treatment for MDD or bi polar but maybe he wasn't.

O Captain! my Captain!

I had not read the poem before. It seems fitting, though.

May he rest in peace.

This is my letter to Robin today...

Dear Robin,

You made us laugh.
You made us cry.
You make us think.

I admire the strength you demonstrated by fighting through the pure agony nightfall often brings to many of us. I admire your courage to have moved from one day to the next for so many long years… years spent gifting humanity with your whole,authentic selfless self.

Know that many of us, your sisters and brothers who have walked with you in the shadows, saw the burden in your eyes. We saw past the clown and into the man.
Some may never understand why you did what you did… when you did. But some of us understand it all very clearly.

You gave all and now you can rest. Thank you for choosing all the days you gave us in all those years. You encourage me to try to do the same…

Wen

I can't watch the media coverage or read facebook posts/comments about this anymore. It hits too close to home for me, and in some strange way I feel as if my friends are talking about me a little bit and they have no idea.

I wonder sometimes how the world would be to not feel so deep the pain. Just to live one day at a time. To not care if what we share is rejected by society...

What's sad about society is it takes a famous person to bring bad things to the public eye (or understand they happen).

Two examples come to mind. In 2000-2001 four NASCAR drivers died of the same type of head/neck injuries. But it wasn't until Dale Earnhart Sr. got killed that car safety got to the forefront of NASCAR. If a local driver had been killed last Saturday night, it would have BARELY made the news. But because a famous NASCAR driver was involved, all kinds of investigations and changes are being made or considered.

Back in the 1980's no one had heard of Anerexia - until Karen Carpenter died. My aunt's death in 1962 was ruled suicide (I was too young to remember her). But what I've learned maybe she also suffered from anerexia.

And now Robin Williams. Why does it take someone famous dying to bring common illnesses or events to be taken seriously? On these pages we do care about others, but why does it take a famous person for publicity? Does society just take these issues for granted and pretend to care? What does it say about people when they only care when a Kevin Ward/Tony Stewart, Dale Sr, Karen Carpenter, Robin Williams and other famous people suffer?

To me that's a pretty sad statement about the human race.

Robin will always have a place in my heart. I feel we have a kinship by fighting the same illness. He will be missed.

People are ignorant of, don't want to know about or care if someone has severe illness unless they know the person well, are close to them, like /love them. Even if celebrities like Stephen Fry, Bill Odie, Ruby Wax and others have talked publicly about their mental illness, try to raise public awareness, fight negative attitudes/ideas, people continue to not believe, understand and bully/discriminate towards those with mental illness.

I was watching a tribute to his life on CNN and they showed a clip of an interview he did some years ago where he was encouraging people to get help for depression. He said: "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem". How sad his own comment didn't help him in the end.

RIP Robin.

Talking about suicide, being aware of your own dark suicidal thoughts and feelings doesn't make them go away if they are really intense, and are in state of despair, then there's risk of acting on them.

Seeking help is the key. I'm stil surprised how Mr. Williams still must have so much wealth and a good health insurance and perhaps was not getting the right help, the right type of medication combination.

Some people just suffer too much with it and others don't know how or can't help them.

Some people seem so strong and are quick to help others, make them laugh, or offer them care when they are simply not as strong as they appear to be.

It's amazing how people can miss it too.

One place I rarely visit is this forum. I have to admit that I have bad boughts of depression. I have not been doing well for several weeks now and I did try a new medication that I thought might work but it didn't. My therapist sees it from time to time and I tend to avoid it. My T battles depression and there are times when I meet with him that I get triggered because I will be talking away and then I look at him and his eyes are very dim and he looks like he is struggling to stay awake. My T is on medication and I can see that he still struggles, and his bad time is the time we have our session. I think he takes another medication after I leave and rests before he can see other clients.

It's hard when you can't even really talk to your family about it either. Each person in your family is always "so busy" with their own issues, so just try to stay quiet about it.
It can get very "lonely".

His death broke my heart. I understood his pain and why he did it. He was such a good person, starting Comedy Relief with Whoopie and Billy Crystal. They raised millions for the homeless. Realizing what a loss his death was to his family and fans made me more determined to beat this depression and not succumb to thoughts of self harm.

A neighbor, who used to be a pretty good friend--someone I did a lot of things with, but who started avoiding me after I spent a month inpatient in the psych unit--saw me today as I was coming back from seeing my T. She waited for me to get out of the car, then motioned me over to the outdoors smoking area where she and four others were smoking. "I certainly hope," she said, looking up at me over the cigarette, "if you kill yourself you'll have the curtesy not to do it here."

I wish her words had made me mad, but they didn't. Just sad. More sad. The others there don't know me very well at all, so I can only imagine the conversation after I left.

I'm so glad I have me therapy cat Charlie. I dread seeing any of those people again.

roads

Wow, that was heartless. Sorry that happened to you.

I thought perhaps an appropriate eulogy would be in order. This person came up with a good one: Rip Robin Williams by akida-kuriyama on deviantART

It's not about being strong, how strong you are as you can still suffer immensely.Sometimes you can be too caring, selfless, giving others more than you do for yourself and that can be self destructive. People can be great at helping others but not helping themselves.

i am so sorry, my husband made me promise i wouldn't commit suicide at home. i guess as long as i don't do it at home, it's okay with him?

why don't people understand how much words hurt? why don't people understand the depth of the pain that leads to those thoughts?

i don't have anymore tears...i think i need a new name because i am all cried out.

They've started a group on dA as well: ChampsRobinWilliams on deviantART

I'm really sorry this happened to you. I didn't know people can be this cruel. I'm trying to speak out about my depression and I guess, I need to be more careful but I've been quiet so long ....I guess being aware people will be like this is good to know. I'm really sorry that you have to go through this.

I liked Mr Williams. He was a very talented person. I have a ton of compassion for his family/friends. And I feel bad that he could not have been saved.

But I will not use the word "tragedy". To me the tragedy is how many other people will be triggered to read the details of how he did what he did - and repeat it. Maybe just as a curious thing. Maybe to fully repeat what he did.

Yes, the tragedy is how many others will die because of his actions. That is a tragedy.