[arachnophobia.kid]

It's embarrassing for me to say this but I feel really affected by Robin Williams' death. I've already been very depressed for several months and have been resorting to drugs and isolation to cope. In the past week though I have felt even worse. I can't really explain it, I don't know why the sudden death of Robin Williams has caused this in me but I have heard of the Werther Effect, I just don't know how that really works. All I know is that in the past week I have begun to contemplate suicide, I have been reading "a practical guide to suicide" and I have noticed how my perspectives on life have changed drastically for the worse. I have felt already for a long time that I can't see good in myself, I see no hope for a peaceful future, and I feel that I have given up on life. Most of my motivation for living I attribute to the momentary relief I feel in self-destruction. Now all of those negative thoughts and feelings have escalated to an unbearable measure.

I've been involved in the Christian faith for a long time but I had been going through a period of doubt for several months, I feel that what I have been experiencing as of late has pushed me over the edge. Yesterday I had a clear experience of saying a final prayer to God and now I feel that I am becoming agnostic. I will lose all of my close relationships if I tell them I no longer want to participate in the Christian faith but I also feel an obligation to be honest with them, and myself.

It's hard for me to wrap my head around the idea that all of this has come from the suicide of a high profile individual. I don't understand it but I know it's definitely what has triggered me down this path. Now I don't know how to stop it as it seems to be getting worse, not better. But I am still making an effort, for now.

[regretful]

I'm glad that you're still making an effort. I'm holding on by my fingertips too...

[doyoutrustme]

Do you have someone you can talk to? Please call the suicide hotline. I have been depressed all week since the news. He's not just a high profile celeb. He meant so much to so many people for a long time. To feel helpless to his suffering is upsetting!

[arachnophobia.kid]

Originally Posted by doyoutrustme

Do you have someone you can talk to? Please call the suicide hotline. I have been depressed all week since the news. He's not just a high profile celeb. He meant so much to so many people for a long time. To feel helpless to his suffering is upsetting!

The suicide hotline in my city is notoriously awful and they have an extremely slow response time so I don't bother with them. I did open up to a few people last night about some of what's going on, but I still kept a lot out of the conversation cause I felt bad about making it into a pity party. It also helped just to write this out yesterday. Thanks for your response, it's nice to know that you understand.

[ThisWayOut]

his death triggered me a lot also. It was almost as if the concept of someone I respected following through gave me permission and validation. It can be really difficult. I don;t know abotu you, but he was my all-time fav comedian as well as a well-respected individual. I liked him a lot... I grew up watching him and laughing with him. It's a really tough loss.
Is there maybe a national hotline available to you? I know the US has a national line you can call, and they will route you "to the closest center" but they have routed me clear across the country some of the time.
Do you have access to a professional for help with all of this? It's a huge deal turingin away from something that has been such a large part of your life till now. If nothing else, a hterapist could help support you through that shift (I had a similar one in high school and really wish I had someone to talk to about it, someone that was not involved in the faith and so bent on turning me back to it).
Glad writing helped a bit, but I would encourage you to seek out some real-life suppoert also. Good luck.

You are certainly not alone. I believe that Robin Williams' death has shaken people to the core. I'm darned if I will belittle how hard his suicide has hit me...I'm giving myself time and space to grieve and anyone who needs to should do the same.

[arich62]

Originally Posted by arachnophobia.kid

It's embarrassing for me to say this but I feel really affected by Robin Williams' death. I've already been very depressed for several months and have been resorting to drugs and isolation to cope. In the past week though I have felt even worse. I can't really explain it, I don't know why the sudden death of Robin Williams has caused this in me but I have heard of the Werther Effect, I just don't know how that really works. All I know is that in the past week I have begun to contemplate suicide, I have been reading "a practical guide to suicide" and I have noticed how my perspectives on life have changed drastically for the worse. I have felt already for a long time that I can't see good in myself, I see no hope for a peaceful future, and I feel that I have given up on life. Most of my motivation for living I attribute to the momentary relief I feel in self-destruction. Now all of those negative thoughts and feelings have escalated to an unbearable measure.

I've been involved in the Christian faith for a long time but I had been going through a period of doubt for several months, I feel that what I have been experiencing as of late has pushed me over the edge. Yesterday I had a clear experience of saying a final prayer to God and now I feel that I am becoming agnostic. I will lose all of my close relationships if I tell them I no longer want to participate in the Christian faith but I also feel an obligation to be honest with them, and myself.

It's hard for me to wrap my head around the idea that all of this has come from the suicide of a high profile individual. I don't understand it but I know it's definitely what has triggered me down this path. Now I don't know how to stop it as it seems to be getting worse, not better. But I am still making an effort, for now.

His death affected me severe also. Still have to work at each day or I woldn't be coming online here. Also I am a Christian. Faith comes and goes with every Christian, that's part of the message it teaches that it is going to happen, that it is temptation luring us away from the faith. Maybe look for a Christian website and post similar to what you say here. Also get you out some notebook paper and start writing out your thoughts. Look online for online counseling (cheaper) or call the prevention hotline (which has probably been really busy this past week because of the Williams suicide). You need to be heard and be able to release the anger turned inward.