[notmrsbrightside]

So many mornings I wake up with a heaviness on my chest. Usually a few things help me feel good and some can throw my whole day off. For eg I went to two stores to get a cake for a friend and both were out and I got so mad. I was angry for the entire afternoon and I just crave sleep so I can reset my system. I try to fight it - listen to music, dance in my office, buy stuff. But my friend tells me to just wallow and move on because I'll eventually fall anyways. But wallowing is so painful and it doesn't really make me feel much better. So what do you do and what do you think is better?

[bluekoi]

notmrsbrightside, I'm not sure your friend is giving you good advice. Wallowing is unhealthy and would make me feel worse. The classic "oh woe is me". I would be angry too, but I would find a cake somewhere or if necessary a substitute. You are doing something nice. Do not let it bring you down.

[gma45]

I have learned to pick my battles. It's like driving in traffic and some guy cuts you off....Yes you can get really mad at them which does nothing to them but raises your blood pressure or you can crank up the music and just keep cruising. How do you know what was going on with the other driver...He might have been a heart doctor and he was racing to the hospital to save someones life, you never know. Did you ask when they were going to get more cakes in? You might have been able to wait an hour and pick one up and avoided being mad all day. I don't really fight or wallow much anymore. I am learning nothing is really that important. I like myself better not being that angry person.

[notmrsbrightside]

I just don't know how to let it go or how not to be angry. The first place I went to was closing down today (and I had checked their FB page and there was no mention of that) and the other place said they just didn't know when they were getting more cakes. I tend to believe them because I went a few months ago and they had the same cakes for sale (frozen).

[notmrsbrightside]

The thing Is I feel like I'm pushingn myself to get this cake to stay relevant in my friend's life. He has always depended on me for stuff and he told me he doesn't want to burden me which makes me feel worse. What did I do wrong?

[bluekoi]

notmrsbrightside, You did nothing wrong. If necessary you can purchase a froze cake (Sara Lee's are good) and write on it with cakemate.

[notmrsbrightside]

Thanks bluekoi. I just don't have very much in my life rigt now and I feel good doing these things for him. It sucks that he's trying to pull away and I hate myself for feeling so needy and desperate.

[bluekoi]

notmrsbrightside, Nobody wants to lose a friend or have them become less close.

I just lost a friend I had for 11 years. She suffers from victim mentality. I tried to help her and everything went sideways. Now she longer wants to be my friend. It's painful and sad, but I respect her decision.

[lilypup]

It's so hard to have friend issues, especially when depressed. My heart goes out to you.

[notmrsbrightside]

Thanks guys. The victim mentality thing sucks, I've had a relationship totally fall apart that way as well. With this current friend he's been really great with checking up on me and it makes me want to hold on to him more which makes him pull away. It's such a sickening cycle.