[x123]

I'm 48, male, and no relationship. Up until recently if I didn't have sex in some way on a regular basis then I would feel horny, frustrated, etc.

In the last several months I have noticed that I really don't have a sex drive at all anymore. However, I have noticed that when I don't have sex on schedule I gradually start feeling extremely tired and discouraged. I'm always struggling with depression, so it's hard to tell what is making me feel so tired.

Anyway, sometimes when it does occur to me that I haven't had sex for a longer than normal interval and correct the situation then I feel normal again. It's hard to make myself have sex when I'm so tired and burned-out and feel like it's a chore, but it does seem to be important.

Of course sex is very different depending on your age and circumstances. I just wanted to mention this in case it might help somebody else. I honestly don't have any sex drive anymore, so it's a different problem for me than it has ever been in the past.

Also, I don't take antidepressants, so that isn't a factor. I know most people take antidepressants and those often reduce libido.

[falsememory7]

x123, do you see a Therapist? Maybe you could talk to him/her about this? Because depression has different affects on everybody, and maybe there's something that you could do to either get your sex drive back or assist your stuggle with depression. thanks for sharing

[x123]

Originally Posted by falsememory7

x123, do you see a Therapist? Maybe you could talk to him/her about this? Because depression has different affects on everybody, and maybe there's something that you could do to either get your sex drive back or assist your stuggle with depression. thanks for sharing

Thanks I need to start seeing a therapist again, but it is hard to feel hopeful enough to invest the effort. I suppose my lack of sex drive might be caused by depression. Normally I ride my exercise bike every day to control the depression, but for several months I've begun to feel like exercising only fixes the symptoms of depression and deep inside I am still very unhappy. That roughly corresponds with the sudden loss of sex drive. Of course my sex drive has been dropping gradually for many years, but to have it disappear entirely was a surprise.

I hope this might help somebody else. I was very happy this morning, because the depression was gone. I thought my depression was not actually depression but only sexual frustration that I no longer cared about. Now I'm not sure if that was right. I was feeling fine until this afternoon and then it seemed like a balloon deflating all of the sudden. I feel really tired. Maybe I have a blood sugar problem, but the doctors say I'm fine.

Anyway, thanks again for the reply.

[Jolisse]

Depression killed my sex drive along time ago.

[x123]

Originally Posted by Jolisse

Depression killed my sex drive along time ago.

Thanks. I suppose that makes sense, because depression kills so many other forms of pleasure.

[VioletBubble]

Hmmm, I must be an anomaly because I'm a 41 year old single woman with major depression and my sex drive is thru the roof. I don't think it's hypersexuality or anything like that...it's just back to where it was when I was younger. Which doesn't help the depression actually, not being partnered and all.

x123, I wonder if declining testosterone levels could be contributing to your lack of interest, your fatigue, and your depression?

[x123]

Originally Posted by VioletBubble

Hmmm, I must be an anomaly because I'm a 41 year old single woman with major depression and my sex drive is thru the roof. I don't think it's hypersexuality or anything like that...it's just back to where it was when I was younger. Which doesn't help the depression actually, not being partnered and all.

x123, I wonder if declining testosterone levels could be contributing to your lack of interest, your fatigue, and your depression?

That's interesting that your sex drive decreased and then increased again. I have read that sex drive in women peaks in the 40s whereas for men it peaks in the 20s. Actually I was watching a women's triathlon and the commentator mentioned that female endurance athletes actually increase their performance into the 30s whereas men get weaker after their early 20s.

You are probably right that my testosterone is down. The problem is that I suspect my testosterone has always been lower than normal for a male. I would almost rather let my testosterone drop like nature intended, because I don't have a sex partner and I never have had a sex partner and I never will have a sex partner and I don't want a sex partner anymore. The highlight of my day is when I lay down in bed and my cat likes to knead his paws on my stomach before I go to sleep. (That's our little routine. )

[TragicKingdoms]

I am a 43 year old Male. My sex drive is average, I guess. Last year I was in a short-lived relationship and, in that case, my sex drive and sex life bloomed. It was great! But, when single, I suppose I do not think about it very much.

[x123]

Originally Posted by TragicKingdoms

I am a 43 year old Male. My sex drive is average, I guess. Last year I was in a short-lived relationship and, in that case, my sex drive and sex life bloomed. It was great! But, when single, I suppose I do not think about it very much.

That's interesting. My therapist told me that I would be more interested in sex if I was in a relationship. It sounds like she was correct.

I have never been married and upper middle aged. I've felt like I've tortured myself thinking about that I may have a low sex drive. I've been thinking that it's been that way all of my life.

Being in college, I remembered that there were a lot of girls that looked unattractive to me. And they didn't have nice personalities either. But yet there were guys that they could get, and they seemed to be able to have sex or slept with. I was always wondering how could guys have sex with women who would seemed so unattractive in every way? On top of that (I may sound gay or bi if I say this), I thought that those unattractive girls had nice looking boyfriends. I couldn't believe it! I went through a lot of disillusion and depression at that time, along with desiring to kill myself. Because I thought that there was so much wrong with me.

Around now it seems like the young women look very attractive. I don't know if it's because I've gotten older and feeling like a "dirty old man" or are women just becoming more attractive these days. I've thought to myself, "wow, women were not that good looking when I was younger as they are now".

The (MB) was always satisfying to me. And I had some making out experiences with women that were very satisfying also. I had one girlfriend that I was in love with and it was a nice experience for me. But that was a very long time ago and we have lost track of each other. It's been a very long time since I've made out with anyone.

I feel like as I've gotten older; a lot more at peace in accepting the way I am in not having someone than I used to. But there are times I desire having someone; and now as the days go by, it's looking more like it's out of reach for me.

I hope that I'm making sense of what I'm saying. I feel like I'm not so sure myself.