[jazzbella18]

So my grandpa is 85 and he had to have emergency surgery yesterday on his colon. The surgery took 3 1/2 hours and the surgeon said it went really well and his vitals were good all through surgery. He is now in the icu, and he had a rough night last night. They kept him intubaited to protect his airway. He was awake, but very medicated. They found that he has fluid around one of his lungs, and his heart rate is now very high and is not coming down, so they said if it doesnt come down soon that they may have to shock him to try to get it back into a good rhythm. They also now think that he might of had a heart attack recently or even possibly during the surgery or last night. They are not sure.

The thing is, is that I am not feeling any emotion. I should be sad, but I cant cry. I mean my grandpa is fighting for his life, and I have no emotion towards it. I do feel sad, but cannot express it. I feel like there is something wrong with me. I should be showing some emotion. I wish I could go see him, but he is 11 hours away from where I am. I will keep praying because that is all I can do right now. I meet with my pdoc today so I am going to ask him about why I am not feeling any emotion.

Does anyone else have the problem about not being able to feel emotions in situations where you should?

[atomicc]

Yes, I've felt this way. When my best friend died I didn't feel any emotion for a while. Something upsetting such as your grandfather being very ill could be very shocking and so your brain is numbing the emotion as a sort of defense mechanisms. I hope your pdoc can help you work through this and I hope your grandpa will pull through.

[Altered Moment]

It is true that denial and numbness can be the first stage of grief but for me it is not that simple.

Depression makes me numb and emotionless. I was in a real bad one when my 95 year old grandmother started to go. I felt nothing. My family went the three hours away to be with her. I couldn't make it. I didn't even make it to the funeral. And I didn't cry and we were fairly close. I feel horrible about it but I was suicidally depressed and totally numb. I couldn't leave the house. Depression = numb for me. Since I have been feeling better I cry over the littlest things. Get real emotional. I talk to my grandma in prayer and apologize ... Getting wheepy just typing this.

I hope your grandpa pulls through and I don't think you can help how you are reacting.

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[waterknob1234]

To feel numb is probably the normal way to feel right now and probably the best thing you can do for your grandpa right now is to pray for him. I understand this is a hard thing to go thru. I remember going thru all this when my mom was real sick. Being numb is the first thing you go thru. Hugs to you

[Idiot17]

Yes, I have family members that aren't well but I don't feel anything concerning it. No grief nor numbness. But maybe that's because of the type of relationship i have with them.

[Elizabeth Jones]

As it looks that you are not having any emotions but actually the thing is you are in real shock, your mind is not able to accept that something went wrong with him. In this I would just like to say go and meet him when you see him with your eyes you will completely break down. Then your emotions will automatically come out.

[regretful]

I have had that feeling, especially when I was on medication to treat depression. I'm on the verge of medication again, and one of the reasons why I'm reticent is that although the medications seem to lift me out of the depression, the cost is that I don't feel "anything" at all when I'm medicated. Sorry to hear about your grandfather. Considering that I knew neither of my grandfathers, I think you're very fortunate to have that relationship.