[aprillynn197]

I deserve to be in pain
I deserve to lose everything
I deserve no sympathy

[aprillynn197]

What kinda person acts like this? I guess the real me is an asshole with no regard for anyone. I'm sorry, I'm a real loser.

[HealingTimes]

I don't believe you are a real loser. If you were a real loser, you wouldn't be beating yourself up about whatever it is that you think you've done wrong.

[aprillynn197]

Good people don't behave like me. Don't think or act like I did. Hard to believe I'm good in any way.

[IrisBloom]

You don't deserve the pain. You don't deserve the bad things that have happened to you. You don't deserve to lose anything. You don't need sympathy. You need understanding. Pain and difficulty are part of the human condition. We all have down times. But every day is a new chance to make things better. And on this forum there are many people who would like to help you if they can.

[HealingTimes]

Originally Posted by aprillynn197

Good people don't behave like me. Don't think or act like I did. Hard to believe I'm good in any way.

Do you have any support, or see a therapist? I thought the same things about myself (and still do to a lesser degree now) for years and really hurt myself as I thought I deserved it.
However, my T sees something good in me, and believes that I am not evil..having someone else think that feels strange.

The thing that I did, I did as a child (aged 14), and was a product of my upbringing. I did it for a reason, however misguided. Its taking a while to realise that.

I hope you can talk to someone about this.

[aprillynn197]

I do have a therapist and I talk about it all the time but will always feel ****** for the lies and rotten way I treated the ones I care about

[Daycia]

I can relate to your feelings completely. No one deserves to feel this way and I still can not figure out how to clear up and out of these feelings in my head. What does your therapist say about these feelings and how to let go or get over them?

[TheOriginalMe]

I'm sure that the feelings you are expressing are just the depression talking, lots of us have felt the same way. What matters is not how you think you have behaved in the past but just trying to be the best you can be in the here and now. So if you need to, apologise to your loved ones, show them you care even if you sometimes make mistakes.

[waterknob1234]

I don't believe you deserve to be in pain. I don't believe you deserve to lose everything. I also think that is the depression talking. I believe deep down you are a good person who deserves a decent life. Hoping you can find therapy or the help you need and deserve.

[Mustkeepjob32]

No one deserves to feel miserable. Please be safe.