[TheLastChapter]

I think I just need to vent, but I would welcome advice also.

I met this girl in high school. We instantly became best friends because the same girl who bullied me, bullied her. With her, I have had the confidence to break up with my abusive ex boyfriend and seek therapy for my mulitple problems. Because of her I am now with the love of my life. We seriously act like sisters and we were always together. Well now she moved into a big city for college. We are about 45 minutes away from each other. I try to keep in contact with her and when she is in town, I try to make plans. This was the 4th week that she said that she would be here for me and she stood me up. I try making things easier for her, planning activities that dont require money or less than $5. I offer to pick her up and drop her off. She will say she will think about it and then wont text or call me until the middle of the next week. She wont even pick up the phone when I call about it.

I dont know what to do. She told me that she would always be here for me, since my boyfriend is currently living out of the country and she is fully aware of all of my problems. But when it comes down to it, her new boyfriend is more important. I feel like this is tearing our friendship apart. I need her emotional support. My counselor told me I need someone like her to help me think things through. I need someone to depend on. I dont want to cut off the friendship, but I feel like it would be more beneficial to me to cut it off than keep trying to rescue a one sided friendship.

[cat2992]

It sounds like you were a convenient friend when she lived in town, but by avoiding you, she clearly isn't interesting in investing the same degree of energy she did once before.

It's sad when you open up so totally yo someone and they let you down. True friendships seem to be able to pick right back up after an absence, but maybe she was just using you. Sorry to be do blunt. Your behavior of trying to make it easy for her to be with you seems to reveal her further separation, in that she's either embarrassed to agree to these free rides and cheap outings or she just had moved on.

I would encourage you to seek other sources of support since she has dropped out of the picture.

Sorry and good luck.

[Abe Froman]

I had a best friend. We were good enough friends and close enough friends that we even had to argue about when we met, 5th or 6th grade. We were tight as you could imagine through high school. Stayed real close for a couple of years after even though we went to different colleges. But slowly we started getting into different things, different wants. Eventually we grew apart. I didn't even get an invite to his wedding, surprising.

But, Freshman year of college I met another friend. I didn't know it at the time, but this guy is a real friend. We have eventually become the closest of friends. Not just share secrets, but the kind of friend that will drive 8 hours to be with each other after a break up, or a family loss. This new friend and I have been friends for about 18 years now, and even though he lives 5 hours away and we see each other just a few times a year, we talk, email, or text several times a week. When we do get together it's like there was no break in the conversation, we pick up right where we left off.

I guess my point is that maybe that girl was what you needed then. But maybe she isn't what you need going forward. My dad told me when I was young that you will only have one true friend in your life. There will people you hang out with, that you enjoy spending time with, but only one will always be there for you. I think you just haven't met that person yet. And just because you're now out of high school(I assume) doesn't mean it's too late. My mom made some of the best friends she's ever had after she was 60 years old.

Just keep your heart open, meet new people, see who is led into your life. The best is still to come.

[Alone91]

Im currently going through the same thing. My friend went off to college, made new friends, and met a guy online. This new boyfriend refused to meet me because he saw some texts that I sent her when I was really down, and he didn't want to have to deal with someone like that. I was told that I was a horrible friend because I wouldn't support her being with someone like him. We haven't talked for months now. I know how you feel, everything she blew me off it was like I was a waste of space. It has been nice not to feel that way anymore, but she was my only friend. If you have other friends, focus on them, at least you won't have to feel that pain when she rejects you. I know it's hard to lose someone you were so close to. Sometimes I feel completely worthless because my only friend doesn't think I'm worth her time, but I don't feel worthless because she blew me off. Either way it's going to suck, but you should decide what's better for you

[TheLastChapter]

Originally Posted by cat2992

It sounds like you were a convenient friend when she lived in town, but by avoiding you, she clearly isn't interesting in investing the same degree of energy she did once before.

It's sad when you open up so totally yo someone and they let you down. True friendships seem to be able to pick right back up after an absence, but maybe she was just using you. Sorry to be do blunt. Your behavior of trying to make it easy for her to be with you seems to reveal her further separation, in that she's either embarrassed to agree to these free rides and cheap outings or she just had moved on.

I would encourage you to seek other sources of support since she has dropped out of the picture.

Sorry and good luck.

I think that you are right. I am just now realizing that she only wanted to be with me because I paid her way into things. Or I had something very exciting for her to attend with me. She kind of used me for the things I had. She always wanted to use my make up or wear my clothes. It just all seems that she only wanted me while it was convenient. Now she has a much older boyfriend to pay her way into the world.