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#1
Feb 24, 2007, 06:21 PM
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Just as this song "I know it's a wonderful world, but I can't feel it right now",I am doing horribly today. If I could find the courage to end myself I would so do it. I am so tired of my memories and my sadness. I don't want to feel anymore and I don't want to remember. How can I stop remembering?
Ideas pop into my head, like throwing my car either left or right while I'm driving, or biking in front of a bus.......a slip.....like an accident. And then I think of my parents, I get so pissed off with the idea of having to go on existing in this pathetic life only because I don't want to hurt my parents. Honestly, this is the only force that stops me. The idea of them crying for me is something I cannot bear. Most of the time I exist in the most unafraid state only because I am challenging my life to finally bring me my end, my release. I am so tired of remembering. |
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#2
Feb 24, 2007, 06:24 PM
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I get those thoughts in my head too. They suck, uh?
__________________
So often we dwell on the things that seem impossible rather than on the things that are possible. So often we are depressed by what remains to be done and forget to be thankful for all that has been done.--Marian Wright Edelman |
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#3
Feb 24, 2007, 06:27 PM
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I can understand how you feel. even i am alive just because of my parents who are living very far from me ( in other country) my mom loves me so much.... if i tell her my situation, she can not bear that........... you are really good person who thinks of parents....... Sometimes it is good to live for someone else.
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#4
Feb 24, 2007, 11:13 PM
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I wish I had something helpful to say but I am in the same boat. I am only living because of others as well. I feel that they would be better off without me here but I know if I take my own life they would feel guilty and have to deal with it for the rest of their lives. Meanwhile I am forced to wake up everyday and go through the motions of living but feeling dead. And I have to deal with the fact that I'm a huge disappointment to everyone. Yes, it sucks big time!!!
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#5
Feb 24, 2007, 11:19 PM
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Oh Valexand,
I'm so sorry you are having these struggles. Is there someone who you can talk to about these "memories" that haunt you? It helps to talk things out and I know that with you keeping the memories in, will only worsen in time. I wish you all the best and I hope that you will keep coming back here and letting us know how you are doing. Hugs, Boopers
__________________
 What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger. |
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#6
Feb 25, 2007, 09:18 AM
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Any excuse to stay alive is a good one, imo.
I hope you are seeing a T, and that you have shared with T all the terrible feelings you have. ((((hugs))))
__________________
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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