[Crook32]

I got rid of the extra pills I had around the house so that I don't do anything stupid.

All I want to do when I get home from work is sleep.

Where do these suicidal thoughts come from?

How do I get myself to be more open in therapy?

I am feeling very lost and don't know what to do. I am not even sure what I want.

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[Rohag]

Originally Posted by Crook32

All I want to do when I get home from work is sleep.

When was the last time you had a full medical checkup?
Is the sleep you get refreshing sleep?

Originally Posted by Crook32

Where do these suicidal thoughts come from?

A good question for your therapist...

Originally Posted by Crook32

How do I get myself to be more open in therapy?

Have you tried showing your therapist your PsychCentral posts (raw or edited)?

[cosmic.yiana]

Originally Posted by Crook32

I got rid of the extra pills I had around the house so that I don't do anything stupid.

Well, right there I congratulate you. That's your first step. Now you really need to tell your T. Don't hesitate. I've had to tell mine before. I made a pact with myself, because I have tried twice. That I will tell someone I am feeling that bad. Even if you don't know how to bring it up, then just throw it out there.

Because those suicidal thoughts will keep festering, even though you don't know where they're coming from. And you want to be safe. :Much love:

[Crook32]

Originally Posted by Rohag

When was the last time you had a full medical checkup?
Is the sleep you get refreshing sleep?

A good question for your therapist...

Have you tried showing your therapist your PsychCentral posts (raw or edited)?

I had blood work done about 6 months ago and my thyroid checked out last year. It has probably been 2 years since my last physical.

My T wants me to email her this week so maybe I will ask her about the suicidal thoughts. She knows I have them.

I don't think I could get myself to show her what I write here.

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[Rohag]

Originally Posted by Crook32

...and my thyroid checked out last year.

Excellent. Thyroid problems can produce or worsen depression symptoms. I'm glad you're looking at the physical side of things.