[cloud2314]

My mood lately has ranged from okay to how am I suppose to get though each day. I start my day and if I have a little motivation try to socialize. For the most part when I try to socialize with my so called friends I just feel invisible or shut down every time I try to talk. After that then its just a struggle to keep myself from crying before I get to my room. Then I just feel so sad and angry. Why doesn't anyone like me? I think. What am I doing wrong? And then down the hall I hear them all laughing and having fun while I feel so alone crying my eyes out.
After that I might wake up one morning and want to just start drinking. I know thats a bad thought but for me I think that if I'm just drunk all day then I'd be fun and outgoing how people like and then maybe they might pay attention to me. And also I think that it will dull my pain and let me not care about the day. I don't know which pain is worse, feeling alone in a group of people or being alone while knowing they're all having fun without me.
Each day is a struggle and I just don't know what to do anymore.

[kaliope]

take it from me, the alcohol will numb you, but that is about it. it will depress you too, because it is a depressant. I used to drink to numb the pain. I did it to try to fit in and have fun with my friends, I would laugh and joke and pretend I was having fun, but I never felt more alone, and the alchohol, being a depressant, intensified that aloneness. it is up to you to find people who are worthy of caring for you instead of false superficial friends. finding activities that bring you joy. your life will be what you will make it.

[waterknob1234]

Hello Cloud and welcome to the community. I often ask my self the same question. How am I going to get thru each day. To be sad and lonely is hard. I agree it may be time to meet new friends who will care about you for the wonderful person you are. Best of wishes.