Rough Day and it shouldn't have been

My PHP sucked, so I quit after two days on Monday. And even though I had already canceled my appointments with T for the week for the program, I was doing okay. I spent all week hanging out with two of my close buddies that I don't see often since I moved an hour away. I've been coming to their house at lunch time and then hang until I get tired and fall asleep on their sofa or drive to where I'm staying.

So we've had a good time, cooked meals together and just been catching up. So I felt good since Tuesday.

Then I had to go to a football party today. I was kind of working it, but basically I was mingling with people having fun and watching football, so not really working. It should have been a continuation of feeling okay. But when it was over I just felt terrible and sui thoughts were coming back real bad. Persistent stuff I can't get out of my head. I was really dreading the drive back, being alone, worse yet being alone in my thoughts.

I'm at my buddy's house again now so it's okay. But I just feel like I shouldn't be feeling like this today. That I should be in a better mood.

Just needed to vent a little.

that's really sad, ive had days like that to. I just hope one day you find your reason to live.

Hope today you see a turn around and a better and easier day.
(((((Abe)))))

Sounds super! That time may prove far more valuable than a low-quality PHP.
Depression laughs at all our "shoulds."

Wishing you better days - more days like those you just had.

It is no good having bad thoughts when you are driving, but that is what the radio is for - turn it up loud with something mindless like: KISS FM UK Radio Player | The Beat of the UK

I have those crazy "no reason" sui thoughts. Hope you have more and more good days.

Thanks for everyone commenting

Yeah, I called my mom, that got me about half way to my buddy's house. Kind of needed her to stay on the phone, but I didn't tell her that and she was tired. She said I didn't sound peppy like usual, I just said I was tired. I was tired, but that wasn't it, I can handle tired.

Anyway, again thanks for all comments and support.