[gina_inthewoods]

So I have been off of work for one week now on fmla. My depression has gotten so bad that I am starting to have suicidal thoughts and planning things for when I am not here. I am not planning my suicide, but I can feel the slow deliberate plummet down hill.

My doc changed my med's last week and told me she would be gone this week. Ok then I am starting to feel much worse so I call the number that she suggested and do there intake quiz and I don't qualify for services??????

What! I asked how do I qualify for services? Why can't I get help before I reach rock bottom??

Any suggestions on what to next? Besides going to the ER?

[kaliope]

you sound like you are in a pretty desperate place. it sucks to reach out for help, knowing you need it, and to be rejected. but on the flip side of that, the positive thing you can look at is that while it seems bad, you are not that bad yet. I know that offers you no comfort. while your pdoc may not be available, where is your therapist? have you considered calling crisis hotlines to help you through those rough moments? they are there to listen? I find ways to detach, make deals with my suicidal thoughts. I cycle and know it comes and goes in waves. so I say if it is still this bad in a month then I can go ahead so then I stop thinking about it. by then I am usually feeling better or I make commitments I cant break. anything to get me thru. hang in there. pm me if you need to talk.

[lilypup]

I agree on the crisis lines or even a "warm" line to have someone listen who understands. You might also draw up a safety contract with yourself. (I googled mine.) Do you have friends to sit with you while you watch TV or sleep? Rally the troops! Hugs to you and pm me also if you would like.

[Rapunzel]

I second what kaliope and lilypup said. Use the hotlines. That is what they are there for. Write out a plan so that you know what to do. You can start with things that you can do on your own to distract yourself. The next step is where you can go to be around other people and do something, since you are safer if you are not alone. You don't have to tell them anything about why you are there or how you are feeling if you don't want to. Have a list of people that you can call and talk to just to talk. If that is enough, you don't have to tell them why. If that isn't enough, who can you call and ask them to sit with you or help you to get help? Also have a list of professional resources including your treatment team, crisis lines, emergency numbers - 911, etc. and use them if you feel it is what you need. There are times when it seems that going to the ER is what you have to do to be taken seriously. I do ER crisis assessments. We don't admit everyone. Some don't want or need to be admitted, but just need resources and reassurance. We are there for them as well as for the ones who are in imminent danger and the ones who are concerned that they need help and aren't getting it any other way but in the hospital. Do what you need to do to make sure that you are safe and getting better.

[gina_inthewoods]

Thanks to everyone who replied. I'm going to try to get a referral tomorrow to services somewhere else.

Not giving up yet! Thanks

[waterknob1234]

Hi gina inthewoods. I hate it when people need help and get turned away. This has happened to me as well. I was turned away from the community mental health clinic because they did not take my insurance. Still, call the crisis hotlines. I also believe it is a good idea to be around other people and not be alone. If necessary, go to the ER. If nothing else they can assist you to find necessary help. What seemed to help me when I felt suicidal was to have commitments to keep. If I knew I had to "hold off" say for 2 more weeks because it would be my son's birthday or some other event, then that helped. Lots of times by the time the event came I would feel better. Best wishes to you.

[Kathleen83]

Hoping that referral comes thru for you today!