Every day I say to myself, a dozen times or so: "I just want to die. Why can't I just die? Please just let me die." I don't know who I think I'm addressing this to... the wind? But I just keep chanting it... sort-of like a mantra.

As it says in my signature quote below: in other traditions demons are expelled externally. But in my tradition demons are accepted with compassion. A passive death wish might be thought of as a demon of sorts. So how to accept, with compassion, this little demon of passive suicidal thought

When passive suicidal thoughts come up, I smile, & I acknowledge their presence by noting the feeling they create in my body. I may even chuckle a bit: "Ah-h-h... here you are, back again, you little bugger..." I may even touch the tips of my fingers to my chest, over my heart, as a sign to myself of my compassionate acceptance of this little demon. "Hello my little friend. And how are you this fine day?"

According to the Lojong teachings from Tibetan Buddhism, over time, this practice should result in the gradual fading away of this particular demon (or any other little demon so treated.) I don't see any evidence of that happening so far. Every day I still wake up in a fog. And while I'm taking my morning shower, my little demon pops up right on schedule! Will he eventually fade away... disgusted at the thought such compassionate treatment? I don't know. But I guess this is, perhaps, a better way to handle the little nipper than trying to do battle with him. He knows more tricks than a professional magician!

[Fuzzybear]

Skeezyks

[gayleggg]

((((((Skeezyks))))))

[TheOriginalMe]

These demons are so very seductive, aren't they? Mine only have voices, I have no idea what they look like. Perhaps I will say to my demons, "Show yourselves, so I can see what troubles you?" A direct challenge and a sympathetic invitation. More than likely, I'll forget compassion and get all irritable and snappy... "Shut up and leave me alone, little ****". Maybe if I can learn to be compassionate to a demon, I will learn to be compassionate to myself?

Originally Posted by TheOriginalMe

These demons are so very seductive, aren't they? Mine only have voices, I have no idea what they look like. Perhaps I will say to my demons, "Show yourselves, so I can see what troubles you?" A direct challenge and a sympathetic invitation. More than likely, I'll forget compassion and get all irritable and snappy... "Shut up and leave me alone, little ****". Maybe if I can learn to be compassionate to a demon, I will learn to be compassionate to myself?

I believe it can work both ways...

[waterknob1234]

I have those little demons. The ones that tell me I'm no good, stupid, can't learn anything. Then I have the little demon that says I should go ahead and die. I tend to wage intellectual war with these demons till I get tired and just give in. It doesn't take much for me to get tired anymore.

My new demon is trying to figure out what I am here to do and what I am supposed to do with my life, besides what I am doing. You would think that at age 52 I would have all this figured out by now.

[baseline]

I can't feel compassion for my demons! There is only one reason right now I won't give in to the ****ers!!

Originally Posted by waterknob1234

I have those little demons. The ones that tell me I'm no good, stupid, can't learn anything. Then I have the little demon that says I should go ahead and die. I tend to wage intellectual war with these demons till I get tired and just give in. It doesn't take much for me to get tired anymore.

My new demon is trying to figure out what I am here to do and what I am supposed to do with my life, besides what I am doing. You would think that at age 52 I would have all this figured out by now.

"Make love... not war," as we used to say back in the day! Douse those little demons with compassion & livingkindness... not with Agent Orange! Slide the stem of a rose into that gun barrel... those demons only know how to fight. They'll be SO CONFUSED, they'll probably just turn tails & run!

(The secret is... we're not here to do anything. Neither are we supposed to do anything. We all simply are... (in my opinion...)

kill 'em with kindness.

(PS, i love your use of emojis.

[Breckman]

I know how you feel-I say the same thing every night when i go to bed. Not sure who i'm talking too either.I really don't believe in anything like a God anymore....