Depression "cycle"

I have major depression. I've noticed that I have certain days where I am extremely emotional. I get really upset and I start looking up all sorts of depression related things, watching documentaries, etc. I cry a lot and I start to feel that nothing is working and I will be like this forever. Most other days, I just feel alright and still depressed but not nearly as emotional. Does anyone else have this sort of "cycling"? I've been marking my calendar, and I seem to have a bad day about once a week, although I haven't had one for a little longer than that until today. At first I thought this was bipolar disorder but bipolar's moods last a lot longer than that. Maybe this is just how depression is? I don't know.

I know how you feel. I have days where I just lay in my bed and think about depression, sometimes I'll just go to my bathroom lock myself in and cry. But I also have better days where I'm happyish and have some fun. I can't say it's just part of depression since I'm not officially diagnosed, but it kinda just feels like it. Stay strong!

I definitely have cycles of depression. I was well for almost 3 months, and this last week I have plummeted into a low again. It comes without warning and without any triggers. Highly annoying!

It's rapid cycling in a way. Not really bi polar though. The definition of rapid cycling does not really cover what a lot of us go through. This last six months I have three or four weeks of doing great (my meds are working) and then hit three days of pretty bad depression, rinse, repeat.

Over the last twenty years my pattern is to have three very severe depressions a year that last a month. Same time of year every year. In the last six years the pattern had changed a lot.

Keep a detailed mood log each day. That's what I do and just hand it to my pdoc.

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Thanks for your replies! It's interesting to see how you guys have similar issues!

This could be what they call recurrent brief depression. Those episodes meet the criteria for MDD, but without the two-week length.

I am exactly the same, though I do have certain triggers. I found this site in one of those very depressed states. I have been diagnosed with MDD by three different psychiatrists over the past 2 years but I have these moments when I think there is more wrong with me. I search for more thinking this cant be 'just' depression...its like I need another labelled disease to prove and answer my over worked imagination. My overall depressive state has been ongoing for over two years now with brief moments of happiness. Someone could say something to me that upsets me, then 'boom' I am back right in the dark hole. My sensitivities are extremely high all the time. I can break down crying at any moment....sometimes I truly have to force myself not to cry...that in itself is very exhausting. I have never marked my moods on a calendar...perhaps thats a good idea.

I've noticed I do that also. I can usually go a week maybe two of im lucky before I just have a really awful depression day. I started tracking it to see if my meds were helping. It was hard for me to tell objectively when I would try a new med if it was actually helping.

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This sounds very similar to what I am going through. The bad days are insane. My mind races and I think I am doing horribly and I look up a ton of stuff and watch documentaries, etc. I also found this site on one of those days. I'm going to mention it to my therapist the next time I go and see what she says. Thanks for your reply!

I seem to follow a similar pattern too, so I'm reassured that it isn't just me.

I find that the deep, dark days are linked more to anxiety. So the racing thoughts, the agitation, irritability, fear and hopelessness link to high anxiety that seems to escalate without an obvious trigger. I have just got a prescription for diazepam, specifically for these extra dark days and it seems to have helped, one dose has given me a week of relative tranquility, my mood is still low but I can function instead of crawling under the covers and hiding.

I have MDD, severe recurrent. I've had 5-6 episodes and so it's now pretty much a feature of my life.

I have to check in with myself every single day, take my meds, get some sleep, general health hygiene is way more important for me. I am now noticing some patterns within patterns. For instance, when I start too many new projects at once at work, I am heading for a bounce. When the structure of my week goes off balance, I am at risk.

It's hard, but I am learning to look at myself and hear DANGER! WILL ROBINSON! more often. This week was a case in point. Training, then jury duty and then overwhelmed. I knew I was in trouble when I started to school someone on why it's nasty to call a colleague a user. That's when I put down the mouse and stepped away slowly.

One thing that helped me was to do MOodScope everyday....It's an online card game that gives you a number for where you are each time you play. Over time you can see that oh, when this happens, I take a nose dive, or this seems to be a trigger. You can also put a note on each data point. www.moodscope.com it's worth a try. I also know where my moodscope score goes critical and so if things are bad, I take the test, and my husband and some others get a note about my score. So DH is able to see that I am not doing well, and make adjustments.

But generally, I would say that you may be having a day where you let something slip (breakfast, lunch, whatnot) and then you go down. You need to either find out what that is, or do extra self-care once a week to fend it off.

I can definitely relate to the searching for documentaries thing. It may just be that during these times of feeling down, we seek for others who may be experiencing the same thing. But idk, it's just really interesting.