I find myself to be more paranoid than I used to be. Anyone relate? I don't know if it goes hand in hand with depression or anxiety or if it's a thing unto itself.

I don't like it at all...

[flours]

what is it like?

[TheOriginalMe]

I had my first real experience of paranoia (rather than just feeling vulnerable or sensitive or "got at") a couple of months ago. A neighbour offered to take my dog for a walk with her dog and later suggested that we should go for a walk together. To most people that would just be neighbourliness, but I formed the idea that this attempt at befriending was so that her boyfriend could rob my house. I really believed that is what would happen, I had no reason for thinking this at all.

I'm no good at making friends so, for me, I guess the anxiety of this unfamiliar situation was what triggered the episode of paranoia. It certainly was a very uncomfortable experience, both in the fear of the imagined robbery and the fear of not being able to control my thoughts.

For me, I think I'm becoming more paranoid as I age, for one thing. Also, I have low-back problems. And, from time-to-time, I've had episodes when the muscles in that area became so strained that I couldn't get out of bed, except maybe to go (with excruciating pain) to the bathroom. (Fortunately I haven't had any of these kinds of episodes recently.)

Anyway, when I would have one of these episodes I would become extremely paranoid. I'd obsess about the possibility, either someone might break into the house & there would be nothing I could do, or the house might catch on fire & I couldn't get out. I do believe some of this paranoia has probably spilled over into my day-to-day life.

[Altered Moment]

I get it when I am severely depressed and have anxiety. I think it is the anxiety that causes it but not sure. When I am real bad I get borderline psychosis. Anxiety is a new thing for me (oh joy) in the last year I have kind of figured out that the depression comes first, causes the anxiety, then causes paranoia. Depression saps all my self confidence, I fear (based on reality) that I won't be able to function. I can't work, I can't pay my bills, I don't show up for anything, don't honor commitments. The anxiety comes because of all the ways the depression effects my life. Sense of impending doom. The IRS is gonna come at any minute and put me in jail.....on and on.

[TheOriginalMe]

I recognise the Depression, Anxiety, Paranoia, Psychosis sequence. I would also add in guilt, sometimes guilt feeds the paranoia and sometimes paranoia feeds the guilt.

My mood is swinging from low to rock bottom at the moment, my last downswing was characterised by excessive guilt, the one before that paranoia and the one before that hallucinations.

I don't know whether age has made paranoia or anxiety worse for me or whether I just didn't recognise those particular symptoms as well when I was younger.