[puzzclar]

My t put something on me a few weeks ago, and I can't get it out of my head. I'm hoping this will help. I just don't have time to deal with it in any other way. I am in a group with 3 other ladies and two facilitators. and he's one of the facilitators. He said that I am the strongest one in the group, and how what I do and say affect what they say and feel. Maybe I"m taking this too far. but It's affected me.

It's affected me in ways that I am lying in group, lying to myself, and my T can tell, because I won't make eye contact with him, or anyone else. Then this last week, he said something else that has shaken up my world. "I am perfect the way that I am" which is a bit backwards thinking and I think that I'm striving for perfection. Which influences the other, and it's driving me nuts.

I hate confrontation but this all has affected me too much, I need to talk to him about this but I just don't know how to approach it. And he also said that calling a crisis line is a form of strength, which is backwards thinking again. any ideas?? of how to approach this??

[vital]

Originally Posted by puzzclar

My t put something on me a few weeks ago, and I can't get it out of my head. I'm hoping this will help. I just don't have time to deal with it in any other way. I am in a group with 3 other ladies and two facilitators. and he's one of the facilitators. He said that I am the strongest one in the group, and how what I do and say affect what they say and feel. Maybe I"m taking this too far. but It's affected me.

It's affected me in ways that I am lying in group, lying to myself, and my T can tell, because I won't make eye contact with him, or anyone else. Then this last week, he said something else that has shaken up my world. "I am perfect the way that I am" which is a bit backwards thinking and I think that I'm striving for perfection. Which influences the other, and it's driving me nuts.

I hate confrontation but this all has affected me too much, I need to talk to him about this but I just don't know how to approach it. And he also said that calling a crisis line is a form of strength, which is backwards thinking again. any ideas?? of how to approach this??

It's hard to tell without more context, but your therapist sounds interesting. From what you've said here, I would be more curious as to what he meant rather than offended.

[puzzclar]

I'm not offended, it just has stuck with me, obsessive thinking, causing a lot of reflection. I am looking into becoming a counselor, which means that I need to deal with my own issues before I can help others. For example, I have called a crisis line before but that's been a few years back. Now, I see it as weakness, and can't call because I am afraid that people will find out and discriminate against me, which has happened before. I don't know what it will be like, I'm scared to admit that I'm having a hard time with all that is going on.

(Trigger warning)

A few weeks back, he told me that others in a group, that the others look up to me because of where I am in comparison to them. During this conversation we were discussing the impact of suicide on the group. They all think that I am doing better to control things than they are. There's a part of me that thinks that he shouldn't have said something like that because it's made me lie to the group. It's almost like I have to be the strong one in the group. which is irrational. I know that, but I've obsessed over this one thing, and it's resulted in me not being able to tell the truth to myself, and to others.

I live in a protective bubble that I created to protect myself from addiction and from sui thinking. Everything that I do is protected, so that no one, including myself, knows how I am.

And with all that going on I'm studying Stress, Coping, Effects of media on suicide clusters, interaction between science and religion. What a weird mix, especially now.

[Terabithia]

He's really put a lot of pressure on you. Isn't this group for your own benefit too?

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by vital

...I would be more curious as to what he meant rather than offended.

I'm in the same camp. Would it be possible to get a more thorough explanation from him?

Personally I think we all have a certain aversion to revealing "weakness" of any type. In nature, weakness invites attack.

[vital]

Originally Posted by puzzclar

I'm not offended, it just has stuck with me, obsessive thinking, causing a lot of reflection. I am looking into becoming a counselor, which means that I need to deal with my own issues before I can help others. For example, I have called a crisis line before but that's been a few years back. Now, I see it as weakness, and can't call because I am afraid that people will find out and discriminate against me, which has happened before. I don't know what it will be like, I'm scared to admit that I'm having a hard time with all that is going on.

(Trigger warning)

A few weeks back, he told me that others in a group, that the others look up to me because of where I am in comparison to them. During this conversation we were discussing the impact of suicide on the group. They all think that I am doing better to control things than they are. There's a part of me that thinks that he shouldn't have said something like that because it's made me lie to the group. It's almost like I have to be the strong one in the group. which is irrational. I know that, but I've obsessed over this one thing, and it's resulted in me not being able to tell the truth to myself, and to others.

I live in a protective bubble that I created to protect myself from addiction and from sui thinking. Everything that I do is protected, so that no one, including myself, knows how I am.

And with all that going on I'm studying Stress, Coping, Effects of media on suicide clusters, interaction between science and religion. What a weird mix, especially now.

OK, I think I understand. Now you feel stress about the group because you feel you have to act in a certain way to live up to their expectations.

Since you're studying to be a counselor, I'd be interested in what you think of this:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...n-escaped.html

It has had an almost magical effect on me and it looks like it's working for cryingontheinside too.

[puzzclar]

Realization!!!
Medical students' disease, the imaginary illness based on what a student is studying....

I've been studying about stress, anger, coping, just to name a few... and I've seen each one in me.... grr I hate it when my textbook sees it before I do. Oh well I'll be better prepared for the next topic, and paper.

vital, I will read your post soon, thank you for your comments

[Creative1onder]

What do you think;are you strong or weak? How do you see yourself compared to others better or worse off generally? No one can tell how others are really feeling or how your life is for you.
Id say i have conflicting sides of me. My illness feels overpowering. I dont feel really in control of things, or clear minded and focused. But i do have inner strength and courage. But i think i want to be stronger or appear better than i really am.

Originally Posted by puzzclar

I'm not offended, it just has stuck with me, obsessive thinking, causing a lot of reflection. I am looking into becoming a counselor, which means that I need to deal with my own issues before I can help others. For example, I have called a crisis line before but that's been a few years back. Now, I see it as weakness, and can't call because I am afraid that people will find out and discriminate against me, which has happened before. I don't know what it will be like, I'm scared to admit that I'm having a hard time with all that is going on.

(Trigger warning)

A few weeks back, he told me that others in a group, that the others look up to me because of where I am in comparison to them. During this conversation we were discussing the impact of suicide on the group. They all think that I am doing better to control things than they are. There's a part of me that thinks that he shouldn't have said something like that because it's made me lie to the group. It's almost like I have to be the strong one in the group. which is irrational. I know that, but I've obsessed over this one thing, and it's resulted in me not being able to tell the truth to myself, and to others.

I live in a protective bubble that I created to protect myself from addiction and from sui thinking. Everything that I do is protected, so that no one, including myself, knows how I am.

And with all that going on I'm studying Stress, Coping, Effects of media on suicide clusters, interaction between science and religion. What a weird mix, especially now.

[vonmoxie]

We are all both strong and weak, in varying situations. We're none of us made of stone.

I was just thinking about this today, specifically how being told I was strong from a young age (not even that I needed to be or that I should try to be, but simply that I was) became like a cage for me, a part of my identity that I came to own and be invariably stuck with, but that I did not create and therefore really did not own.

I'm sure that telling you you're strong or strongest was meant as a positive thing, but you are entitled to enjoy the benefit of feeling like it's your own choice, and not a demand or a constraint. Just my opinion.

[puzzclar]

Thank you all. With your help, I've gotten passed this trouble spot. I was thinking it was a negative thing to be the strong one in the group. Now I hope that I can just be perfect in a way that is what I need, and stop putting so much on what others think. I know I do that to much, and it's been at a terrible cost.

[Creative1onder]

Well, we all have strengths and weaknesses. No one's/nothing is perfect. Comparing self to others is waste of energy and time really and doesn't bring positive results. We always want more or better. Hard to be completely happy and confident all the time. Depression is known to be the curse of the strong.

[Fuzzybear]