I can't continue this and I don't know what to do

Hello, teenaged guy here. I was diagnosed with depression, 2 months ago by my GP and a psychologist independently. Told me just to take pills (and the psychologist told me to email him every week)... I guess I was kind of okay with that. I mean it sounded pretty good taking something to make all the sadness go away.
My parents told me that I shouldn't call myself depressed because society likes to label people and every teenager goes through this. They said that the pills would harm me... They made me afraid of taking them. The fact that the normalized all the feelings that I have gone through and it makes me really hurt and frustrated. I really hope that every teenager isn't sad all the time like I am.

I don't remember the last time I actually was really happy, happiness has just turned into just a dull feeling of being less sad. I find it to be so much easier to feel pain then happiness. I feel like I'm so tired all the time now too. The sadness doesn't have reason and because of this it makes it so hard. I feel weak and helpless for being this way.

Last night I couldn't do anything and I'm probably going to fail my chem test because of it. Maybe I use my depression as a excuse to not do work... I just wanted to lay in bed and I just felt nothing. Everything was dull, I wanted to cry because I thought that would help but no tears would come. I tried to cut multiple times but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I really wanted just anything to make feeling of nothingness go away.

My girlfriend doesn't deserve a boyfriend that is like this. I end up talking to her because I have no one else to talk to. It Really hurts me because one of the reasons why she likes me because of my personality and when I am this way, I'm not actually myself. She is super supportive of me and says that I'm not being a burden to her and I shouldn't be sorry. But, I don't believe her. I totally wouldn't blame her if she left me because of this.

Why do I have so much pain all the time? Why me? I just needed to wrote this stuff down....

One thing you could try, exercise, even when you don't want to. It seems simple but it does work. It is hard but worth it. Meds do help, when you find the right one, where as exercise helps quicker

Sounds like your parents don't have a real clear understanding of depression, how it works, how it affects you. Maybe your doc or therapist can have a chat with them? Have you talked to your therapist about how you are currently feeling? I ask, because so many of us have a tendency to not tell them, which is counter-productive...but still, something we do. I certainly do. Meds CAN help, big time - but it can take a lot of time and work to find the ones that work for YOU. Since you were diagnosed 2 months ago, but aren't feeling any better, you might want to mention this to your doc / therapist, and talk about other things to try. Keep searching - help is out there. This place helps me loads. As for your girlfriend....she sounds very understanding and supportive. I understand the urge to push her away.....but....maybe cut her some slack? Give her the benefit of the doubt, that maybe she really does understand, and can deal with you at your worse. And oh yes, physical activity does help. Sometimes you have to force yourself, but it helps!

I need to go back to doing that. Not sure why I stopped... In your opinion, do SSRIs bring any long term effects? That's what I am most worried about.

Depends on if meds work for you. And depending on the drug depending on long term effects

Sigh. They think that they do. They spent a good hour bashing the two professionals I saw because they said to take pills for something that according to them everyone deals with... I hate bringing it up because they immediately start getting all sympathetic and suggesting all these things that they just googled. I know they are trying to help but i really dont like what they are doing.

As for the other part of your response... I think I'm going to try to find another therapist, just because my parents don't trust anything this person says... Any tips for finding a good one? I'm in Canada, not sure if that makes a difference...

As for my girlfriend, I guess with reassurance, that thought will do away... She's just been so amazing though out this and sometimes I think its too good to be true...

I'm going to try the exercise thing again!

Thanks for your input!!!

Hi Sailordude, I don't know how to post the link but I recently watched this on YouTube from Stanford University, the professor/dr has spent 30 yrs of his life studying etc depression. Any who thus informative lecture covered all angles biological, environmental etc. maybe you can watch it and get your parents too as well. I would hope it helps them understand depression more. The video was called...

Stanford's Sapolsky On Depression in U.S. (Full Lecture)

I am in Canada too different provinces have different resources google it for your area.. They have help support groups for all sorts dx' s.
All the best to you

Generally, antidepressants have a fairly low risk profile for long term use. Yes there are some pretty horrendous sounding side effects, but they are pretty rare and many people take them for decades without too many issues. The biggest problems are either they stop working (poop out) or don't really work properly to begin with.

You need to take antidepressants for between 6 and 8 weeks to give them a chance to work properly, so if you have taken the prescribed dose every day for two months and don't feel much better, it might be time to try a different one, talk to your doctor.

You won't necessarily have to take antidepressants for life, though some people do. If this is your first "clinical" episode of depression your doc may well decide to stop meds if the depression improves and you are stable with minimal or no symptoms for at least 6 months. If the depression returns then you can always go back onto meds again. After two or three significant episodes of depression the usual medical advice is to take a maintenance dose of an antidepressant for life or more usually until it stops working and they swap you to a different one. All that is a very long way down the line. If you would prefer a med free strategy talk to your doctor. CBT might be helpful in helping you form better thinking patterns, another poster has already recommended exercise and there are lots of other lifestyle things you could try, e.g. healthy eating, avoiding alcohol.

You seem to recognise that your parents are trying to help, even though they seem to be making things harder for you not better. I know this is a link to a UK site, but it has factsheets for parents, it might be more helpful than some of the stuff google throws out. Depression in young people.

There is the Sapolsky Stanford lecture link. I have watched it, he is very good. Stanford is a very good source of info on depression. Educate yourself and hopefully your parents will get educated. When going to websites I stick with the major universities and NIMH.

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Thanks Zinco maybe you can mail me in how to share links.. Sorry for being off topic Sailor. I am still learning to navigate psych central

Sorry for the delay in getting back to you - have been away from here a few days. The main thing I've learned over the years for myself is, I have to take charge of my condition, and take the lead in getting help, when I feel I need it. It's wonderful that you are reaching out, and researching your options, and asking questions - that shows you haven't given up - keep going!

You mentioned you are thinking of switching therapists, because your parents aren't accepting of the one you are seeing. I think you need to re-think that idea. You had asked if I had any suggestions on finding therapists, and I'm sorry, I don't. But I do know from my own experiences that the key to having an effective therapist is, how much YOU are willing to work with them, how honest you're willing to be with them. That's why I don't think you should switch because of how your parents feel or react.

I'm explaining poorly, I know. It's one of those days where my own brain is really cluttered. I'll try to focus. LOL You recognize that you're depressed, and that the depression is affecting your life, your day to day living. That's a good thing, and a good starting place. You're being torn by your parents lack of understanding of your condition, and their own feelings about it, and what to do about it. That needs to take a back seat to your getting help, and finding a way to live life a little easier. Focus on what you need, what works for you. Perhaps your parents are simply overcome with fear and concern for you, and if they see that the therapist is helping, that medication is helping, they will feel better about the help you're getting? Do what works for you, while understanding that although medication can often help, as the others have said, it can take a long while to get there, and it isn't a magic potion that will "cure" your depression. That is why finding a good therapist you can work with is so important - they can help guide you through all the different options available, to help you help yourself - not just handing out meds, but different types of therapies, and exploration of what is behind your depression (chemical imbalance, life situations, past traumas, and so on.)