[Musica91]

Well, depression is not my main problem, but its one I am in right now going along with PTSD and all kinds of other related issues.

And I got so depressed this week, that I shut down with eating - not 100% but a LOT.

First, I would not go get groceries. I just couldn't make myself do it. And I had nothing in the refrigerator almost - it was pretty bare!

Today my therapist found out (because I told him) I was not eating well, and that I was avoiding getting groceries - so we had a long talk and when I left, he asked me to go do it NOW. And I agreed and did.

So I got groceries but now, I can't eat them. I eat two or three bites and that's it.

I even wanted cookies - got some- and can't eat those.

It stinks. I know I have to - but just can't seem to do it.

[Frankbtl]

Hi Musica, I'm sorry things have been so hard for you
With depression you can be lacking so much motivation.......including to go shopping.........to eat..........to even care about eating.
And even eating can take effort/energy and when you're really lacking in them anyway.............
And you know, for some people some of the encouragement in eating can be in the pleasure factor, they like/enjoy particular foods...........but when depression is taking away your enjoyment of so much including enjoyment of sensory stuff like taste then it's going to be difficult at times.
Although that might not be the all of it for you??? Maybe/maybe not other stuff going on with your other issues too??? What do you think???
Still it is really good that you managed to still be eating somethings and that you managed to tell your T about where you were at
And if you can only manage two or three bites of something, that's OK, that's good!! Just try to come back to it twenty minutes/half hour/three quarters of an hour later and try for three or four more bites.
And even if you have to cut down on a couple of other things e.g. cleaning jobs (??) and try to make eating more your goal. It might be really hard, but............????

Alison

[IrisBloom]

The first thing I notice when heading for a deep depression is lack of appetite. I feel hungry, try to eat, but can't swallow anything and gag. If you can get anything down, try pudding, applesauce, things that don't require chewing and slide down easily (Ensure or other nutrition drinks too). You won't starve or cause damage if you can only eat a small amount for a time. But do get to doctor if you can't eat at all.

[Musica91]

Thank you both,

I did start kind of "forcing" myself to eat a little more yesterday. I think its enough.

Oh yes, there are other issues going on with me. I am being actively stalked by an ex, just moved to a new city with a new job - no real support from anybody except a therapist, although I am working to get out and meet people when I am up to it.

I have a lot of other issues going on - healing from abuse, PTSD, anxiety, depression, dissociation, self-harm/injury, and I forget what else.

I have had lifelong abuse - and I'm in therapy for all of it.

So yes, there are other issues for sure. The depression is just a reaction to it all - and eating issues because of the depression.

I know what's causing it - its dealing with it that is the problem, but I am doing better.

Thank you all.

[Frankbtl]

Hi Musica, thanks for the update and good that things are a little better
And considering what you're coping with I've really got to really admire your strength under all of that......moving, sticking with therapy, pushing yourself in trying to deal with things inc. working on meeting people!!! And of course, it isn't easy but kudos!!!!
But don't forget, a new city.........a new job.........have to be stressful in themselves, never mind everything else going on for you so try to go easy on yourself, hey?? Not too high expectations on yourself?? Doing some things just for you?? A bit of "time out"?? Reaching out for support if you need it??
And, hey, we can be here for you alongside your T too!!
Alison

[ombrétwilight]

Musica, hang in there! It really sucks to be depressed on top of other MH issues and I hope you find the strength to get through this safely. Maybe you could make nutritious smoothies in the morning so you don't have to go hungry throughout the day if you don't feel like getting food? I know it seems like a Herculean battle to even consider making a smoothie but it's important to keep yourself well-fed because it helps with your mood. Just get a blender, throw in whatever you like (fruits/greens), ice and milk/yogurt/soy milk, press the button and voila!

When I'm super depressed (like to the sui stage) I can't eat too, and the thought of food is borderline repulsive to me. However most of the time I'm not at that point and I experience a bunch of horrid cravings for junk food. This basically includes everything I can usually stop myself from eating e.g. chocolate (worst offender!!), ice-cream, Roller Coasters. I think I've re-gained the weight I lost prior to this depressive episode.

Thinking of you!

[Musica91]

FrankBtl,

Oh yes, you are so correct! I have taken on an awful lot, but I did really need to.

And today my job did not go well, and I'm applying to two other school districts (I'm in Education). So more change - but I'm hopeful it will help my work. (long story and explaining that would be difficult).

Anyway, yes, its time to slow down a bit, and pace myself.

You are 100% correct!
Thank you for the encouragement.

Musica91