Completely apathetic about everything

Today is a blah day. I don't feel anything about my family or friends or life today. Husband keeps asking me what's wrong, why I'm not talking today. I have no answer, but I am finding the questions annoying and slightly probing. I just don't feel anything today.

Apathy and emptiness are the primary colors of my experience of depression.
What does your husband know of the illness?

I can totally relate to that! Blah and empty are my default, it seems.

That seems to be me on most days at the moment. Sometimes I feel like my emotions have been wiped away and nothing at all would have the ability to make me react in any way. But then I'll watch something on TV that's not really about anything and it makes me cry. Its confusing.

You're not alone in this Pearl. There are some days where I feel nothing but FLAT.

Hi purplepearl, really sorry it's been "one of those days" for you, and hope today is a little better??
And I completely go along with Rohag, it sounds like your husband could do with a little more understanding.
Sorry if you've already tried this, but maybe on a slightly better day (hopefully/if you have some??) you could sit him down and explain.........what it's really like for you, and that some days may be like that for no other particular reason than they are.
It's not that you're just not bothered, you're not interested, he's done something, something's happened that you aren't telling him about..........it's more than that. And perhaps you could tell him what you'd like him to do if it's "one of those days", what might help a bit, or at least not make it worse for you...............
Hopefully have him understanding a bit more, hey??

Alison

Perhaps what's more frustrating is that he expects me not to get like this because I take meds but the meds don't always make me feel perfect and peppy.

Hi purplepearl, sounds like a great world he's living in then, just take some meds and everything's suddenly perfect!!! Needs to understand a little more, right??
Then, do you think it's possible he's a little worried about you, confused/frustrated about the way you're feeling, and feeling powerless to help/"do something" about it, and it's just all coming out wrong (like he's sounding insensitive!!)???. I don't know??? Not that that's going to be helpful to you anyway, if.........
So.........needs to be educated...........maybe if you could talk to him, maybe have some resources to back up what you're telling him, maybe involve him in some of your appointments if that's doable and you wouldn't mind that????
Sometimes it can be hard for people to really "get", I hope he can at least come a bit closer though. And for now is there anyone else you can turn to for actual understanding/support???
Although you do have us anyway if not.

Alison

This is probably very likely. I may be overly sensitive because of my relationship history and my frustration over not knowing why the heck I get like this, so I really don't have a clue how to verbalize that to someone else. Maybe he is concerned and just doesn't know how to ask or how to help.

Hi purplepearl, hey still time to "enlighten" him though!! He should still be there to give you some support
You should be working together, right?? It shouldn't be him and you with the problems........you didn't ask for this, and I'm sure you're understanding and supportive towards him in other ways and when you can be. Probably more than you're giving yourself credit for??!!
So, yes a bit more openness??? And it's OK, if you don't know why you get like this. There isn't always an explanation, there isn't always a trigger, sometimes it is what it is.......really hard I know but................And the main thing is getting the help/support to try to help you with that and try to work through it as best you can.
And nothing to say you can't work towards "putting it behind you" in time. Might take the right medication, might take something else...........but you are on the road already in reaching out for some help/support.
Just time to help him a little more with that, with his understanding, too, hey??

Alison

Be careful not to shut down your loved ones even if you feel like not talking. It's a simple answer to a simple question. Tell him you're not feeling good right now and need some time alone, or something to that effect. Just be honest. Nothing wrong with being honest and letting people know how you're feeling if they're concerned. You can even say something as simple as, "Oh, just one of those days." and leave it at that.