...this might sound weird. But this is what I'm really really struggling with. I don't know if this should be in this thread or the Borderline Personality Disorder thread but I'll just leave it here.

I feel like I don't care selflessly about anyone other than my mother. I'm not close with any other members of my family, and don't really have a desire or feel comfortable enough to get close with them.

I feel like I don't care about anyone unless it's in regards to what they can do for me/how they can make me feel with words, acceptance, etc. When people say "I worry about you" to me... if they aren't my mother... I really just find myself thinking how? because I don't care much about the pain of my friends (I don't have many, but when I start developing friendships with people, it turns out this way).

I want to care, but I just really don't feel anything. I can only focus on how sad I feel and how no one seems to care about me even if they say they do, I don't believe them or feel it's enough.

So back to my original question. Is it really possibly to care about someone selflessly? Or is it just me who's not able (so far) to do that?

... I feel down and confused tonight. So many feelings I feel like I need to sort out but it's overwhelming me.

It isn't that I don't have empathy. I do. But in a detached sort of way unless it's my mom or animals.

Please help me.

[kaliope]

did you have trauma in your life? it is hard to connect to people when you have had trauma. i think there are very few people in the world who truly care about other selflessly so don't even try to measure yourself by those standards. just do the best you can in life and try to love yourself and the rest will come

[Curupira]

I can only answer from my personal experience. In my case it is yes for a very, very small number of people. I don't know why, it may be the depression, it may be my personality, I don't know but I would be perfectly happy being a hermit.

But I love my husband (I count him because I picked him) and I have a best friend we share a disorder and our bond was forged in need. We were alone and no one else could help us so we helped each other and now I can say that she is the first true friend I have ever had. We talk every day even though we no live far apart.

Don't know if this helps

[vital]

Originally Posted by nevergoodenough

...this might sound weird. But this is what I'm really really struggling with. I don't know if this should be in this thread or the Borderline Personality Disorder thread but I'll just leave it here.

I feel like I don't care selflessly about anyone other than my mother. I'm not close with any other members of my family, and don't really have a desire or feel comfortable enough to get close with them.

I feel like I don't care about anyone unless it's in regards to what they can do for me/how they can make me feel with words, acceptance, etc. When people say "I worry about you" to me... if they aren't my mother... I really just find myself thinking how? because I don't care much about the pain of my friends (I don't have many, but when I start developing friendships with people, it turns out this way).

I want to care, but I just really don't feel anything. I can only focus on how sad I feel and how no one seems to care about me even if they say they do, I don't believe them or feel it's enough.

So back to my original question. Is it really possibly to care about someone selflessly? Or is it just me who's not able (so far) to do that?

... I feel down and confused tonight. So many feelings I feel like I need to sort out but it's overwhelming me.

It isn't that I don't have empathy. I do. But in a detached sort of way unless it's my mom or animals.

Please help me.

Hi there never good enough. I don't think you really don't have to worry about this at all. I think it's just a side effect of depression and you'll find that once you start to get better, you'll just naturally become more empathetic and connected to people and it will naturally be reciprocated.

- vital