[wonderingwhy068]

hey guys...
i'm posting here because for the first time in a while, i have no idea how to feel. i know that i used to have mild to moderate depression in high school, which i attributed to my home life/recent deaths in the family. i thought that moving away for college would fix my problems and make me happy, but lately i've been realizing that its NOT my surrounding that make me so sad, it's me. i don't know what to do, my friends all say that i'm getting more irritable/pessimistic/mean by the day, and i just keep feeling like i have NOONE who truly needs me. i know that i would never commit suicide, i'm just sick of feeling worthless all the time. this weekend is so stressful, that for the first time ever i actually followed through with cutting myself. i hate to say it, but it felt sooo good and i felt so much more relaxed and in control. i'm not expecting anything from venting here...i guess i just need to let out some emotion...

[EJ711]

Wondering Why,

I'm sorry you are having a hard time right now.

Haven't you had a lot of snow in the Buffalo area this year? Grey days can cause people to feel sad and alone.

A lot of people going through college don't have a clear sense of where their lives are taking them. It is typically a period of transition.

How about seeing a medical doctor, who can perhaps prescribe you some antidepressants to help you feel better about things?

EJ

[winnetka]

Dear Wondering Why,
ah, depression. I wish no one had to suffer from it. No one should have to feel like it's unrelenting, and never ever lets up... I wish you could find some relief. I'm hoping you can find Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or something +/- meds that help. But finding something that helps is a lot of work...

re: cutting, it's addictive. I can't talk about it here, but I've had it for a long time and it just gets worse, and after a while, the instant relief doesn't happen any more but the urges to do it still are there.

[jefftele]

sounds like depression to me when my depression starts to deepen my red flags are thoughts of suicide ,the mere fact it comes in my mind means i'm getting more depressed and if i feel like harming myself by cutting ,then i'm pretty ill please speak to your doc or someone ,depression is an awful illness ask for help it can be treated

[sunrise]

WonderingWhy, many colleges offer free short term counseling for their students. Please find your college counseling center and set up an appointment today. They can help you with issues like depression and SI. Please do this for yourself as soon as possible! Take care.