I don't know how I feel about myself or anyone else

I am 19 years old and in my second year of university, and I don't know how I feel about anything. I like to think i'm relatively smart, I've always got good grades at school and never had trouble making friends. However, i'm almost certain there's something wrong with me. I work a lot outside of uni because it takes my mind off things and it means I don't have to find things to do with my spare time or talk to my friends too much. I haven't had a girlfriend since I finished a two year relationship three years ago, and I haven't actively tried to find one because i don't know how to. I haven't had sex in over a year, but i always think about sex and masturbate a lot. I often feel like my mind works in a completely different way to everyone else's, and I don't enjoy doing things that other people do. All of my friends enjoy drinking and going out clubbing and doing things like that, but I don't really enjoy doing things like that. I am a very tidy person and like to try and stay as organised as i can, but i often feel helpless and i am always bored. If i have a lot of free time, i never know what to do even if i have lots of things to do. I will sit around and scroll through ym phone, avoiding conversation and thinking a lot, probably too much. I always think about things like, what if my friends don't like me, what if i don't like my friends, what if i were to start a new life, how insignificant my life is and why i even keep going. I am not suicidal in the slightest, however, i just sometimes like to think about what would happen if i were to die. I have had acne problems since i was about 14, and even though none ever comments on it, i always feel ugly and like i would never be able to attract a girl. Despite me having all these confused feelings in me like i don't know whats wrong with me, or if there even is anything wrong with me, i will feel completely different the next day, i will be talkative instead of introverted (which i normally am), and i will dismiss all my previous feelings as me being stupid, over-sensitive, or over-emotional. i will probably regret sending this and feel like an idiot for letting my emotions take control of my brain, but i have a lot of difficulty controlling them. I have not cried since i broke up with my girlfriend years ago, and i always have trouble expressing my emotions, whether it be love, anger, compassion towards friends and family, or anything else. There are a lot more things going around in my head, but most of them i don't even know how to describe. I really hope someone reads this and helps me, and i will be really grateful. I just want to know if there is something wrong with me, or if this is completely normal, i just don't know. Please, someone help me, I will be really grateful. I'm sorry this was so long-winded, but i just don't know how else to put it.

Do you have a pdoc or therapist? If not you should try to see a doctor and tell him/her whats going on and how you are thinking. That should be your first step. You explained yourself just fine to us so now you need to do it with a doctor. Whatever the cause is, some meds and counseling might be part of making you feel better.

I wouldn't say there is anything wrong with you. And define "normal". You are who you are whether others would define it as normal or not.

Sounds like you are in a phase of figuring out your identity. That is a difficult period. There are all the ways your parents think you should be and then all the ways your friends think you should be, and what society thinks. Really it is totally up to you. Be who you are. Decide which things you would like to change based on what you want and not outside influences. Self acceptance is huge but we all have things we want to change. Not wanting to go clubbing and drinking is rather mature and nothing wrong with that.

"Please, someone help me, I will be really grateful. "

Hi 55dd99,

Keeping in mind that I am some anonymous guy on the internet, I actually think I understand what's happening with you and what to do about it.

First, I want to second jelly-bean's suggestion - take advantage of the wisdom of someone who has seen what you are going through before. Even the act of explaining yourself in person may be liberating and clarifying for you. I also always suggest a medical checkup if you think you're depressed because there are a surprisingly large number of purely medical/nutritional issues that can cause depression.

Now, to be more specific. I think that your instinct that there is something wrong and your instinct that you should post in the depression section of this forum is CORRECT. I think you have "pre-depression" - the basic thing that happens to depressives is happening to you, at least part of the time, but it has not yet produced any major crisis in your life. So what should you do about this? Fortunately for you, most of the good non-drug things that are good for depression are also great for you anyway:

1. Exercise
2. Improve your diet
3. Find some mediation/mindfulness practice
4. Enjoy friends and family

The best treatments for depression are just ways to improve your life and your health. Why not do all of these things? I would also suggest that you try "SNAP CLUB" as explained here

http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...n-escaped.html

This is very easy to try and I have a feeling that you might really benefit from it a lot.

- vital

Thank you everyone for the advice, it all helps a lot and i really appreciate it. I do believe i am a lot more mature than a lot of my friends, i have always thought this and i think about it every day. It's just that sometimes i think that I'm TOO mature, especially for my age. I think there are two main problems: one, i need a girlfriend, really badly, someone who i can really talk to, because i have always had trouble really talking about my feelings with anyone other than a girlfriend. two, i don't feel appreciated by my peers. I think this is a problem that i have to try and solve myself, maybe by doing more to help people, or trying harder at work and uni. Either way, i will try the suggestions you have posted, and again, thank you so much for the advice, it really means a lot, even if it is from anonymous people on the internet.