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  #1  
Old Dec 15, 2014, 12:24 AM
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vantonius vantonius is offline
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For the past couple of days ive been feeling so empty and lonely, at times i will also feel angry and sad. The feelings just build up as time goes by.. i feel like everything just goes darker and darker.. everyone that i care the most just goes further and leave me all alone in the darkness while they are going to have fun. As much as i feel sad and angry about it.. i also feel like its good that they leave me cause im nothing but a burden and trouble for them.. they would be better off without me anyway.. cause im just a piece of *****, doesnt deserve to be happy and doesnt deserve anyone at all.. cause no matter how hard i try to make everyone around me happy and to be fit in.. in the end they will still leave me.. like they finally realise im nothing good to keep around.

Christmas and New Year Eve is coming closer.. this use to be my fave month where i get to spend time with someone, but now i am literally alone with no one care about me, my fiancee dumped me and dont wanna talk to me anymore cause she found another guy, my friends having fun with their own gf or fam. The closer it gets.. the more i feel so deeply empty, lonely, angry and sad.. im afraid how dark i can get and how deep i will fall into desperation when its finally here.. im afraid of what i might do
Hugs from:
Anonymous37914, Fuzzybear, HollowRhythms, Idiot17, Little Jay, sideblinded, Stone Serenity

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  #2  
Old Dec 15, 2014, 01:51 AM
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sideblinded sideblinded is offline
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(((vantonius)))

You are not alone! What is happening right now is only temporary. Thoughts are fleeting and they come and go. You never know what tomorrow may bring. Life is so unpredictable. Please don't lose faith in your capabilities. You are much more than a negative mood.

Trust yourself and life is all about never giving up!

Thanks for this!
vantonius
  #3  
Old Dec 15, 2014, 03:33 AM
Little Jay Little Jay is offline
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Sending hugs. I'm sorry you're going through this Vantonius, I completely understand and can relate to what you are feeling right now. If you are, as you said, scared of what you might do then it's very important you make use of your coping resources right now. Take care of yourself.
Thanks for this!
vantonius
  #4  
Old Dec 15, 2014, 04:03 AM
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vantonius vantonius is offline
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Originally Posted by Little Jay View Post
Sending hugs. I'm sorry you're going through this Vantonius, I completely understand and can relate to what you are feeling right now. If you are, as you said, scared of what you might do then it's very important you make use of your coping resources right now. Take care of yourself.
Yeah.. im scared cause the last time i feel so depressed.. im doing something terible and its not easy to get over with. Im trying my best to use every coping resources i have.. but none of them seems working right now.. even if it does.. it will only work temporarily and in a few hours i will feel the same. And im running out of idea on how to escape or cope this feelings.. as in it get worst right now.. especially when i see people are super excited and happy planning something for christmas and new years eve. I feel jealous, traped all alone and got nowhere to run from this..
  #5  
Old Dec 15, 2014, 04:10 AM
Little Jay Little Jay is offline
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Originally Posted by vantonius View Post
Yeah.. im scared cause the last time i feel so depressed.. im doing something terible and its not easy to get over with. Im trying my best to use every coping resources i have.. but none of them seems working right now.. even if it does.. it will only work temporarily and in a few hours i will feel the same. And im running out of idea on how to escape or cope this feelings.. as in it get worst right now.. especially when i see people are super excited and happy planning something for christmas and new years eve. I feel jealous, traped all alone and got nowhere to run from this..
It's especially hard at Christmas - it's supposed to be a happy time but when you're depressed even something like Christmas can't break the bubble of depression. But you're not alone - and you have all of us on here to support you!
  #6  
Old Dec 15, 2014, 04:24 AM
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vantonius vantonius is offline
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It's especially hard at Christmas - it's supposed to be a happy time but when you're depressed even something like Christmas can't break the bubble of depression. But you're not alone - and you have all of us on here to support you!
Exactly! It cant break it, and as a matter of fact.. it makes me feel even lonely.. cause ill be sitting at home alone, no one to talk to or spent time together with.. its just sucks so bad. Oh how i wish theres an answer for this
  #7  
Old Dec 15, 2014, 07:16 PM
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  #8  
Old Dec 15, 2014, 07:28 PM
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Stone Serenity Stone Serenity is offline
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Originally Posted by vantonius View Post
Exactly! It cant break it, and as a matter of fact.. it makes me feel even lonely.. cause ill be sitting at home alone, no one to talk to or spent time together with.. its just sucks so bad. Oh how i wish theres an answer for this
Maybe if you could find someone to help, like another person (friend, acquaintance) that has nowhere to go for Christmas or a child whose parents have nothing to give them and you can help with that. Could that make you feel better and more connected to people? I will be alone at Christmas, too, so it will be strange for me, so I kind of understand what you might be going through. My plan is to make myself a schedule of things I want to do for each day while I'll be alone and try to keep myself to it. I'm going to see if that helps, maybe that could work for you?
  #9  
Old Dec 15, 2014, 09:43 PM
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vantonius vantonius is offline
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Originally Posted by Stone Serenity View Post
Maybe if you could find someone to help, like another person (friend, acquaintance) that has nowhere to go for Christmas or a child whose parents have nothing to give them and you can help with that. Could that make you feel better and more connected to people? I will be alone at Christmas, too, so it will be strange for me, so I kind of understand what you might be going through. My plan is to make myself a schedule of things I want to do for each day while I'll be alone and try to keep myself to it. I'm going to see if that helps, maybe that could work for you?
Theres no friend or acquaintance that wont be busy with their own holiday trip or party.. (which im not even invited btw). As in finding a child.. i dont know.. im not sure where to find but ill try the making schedule and see if it helps or not.. thanks for the suggestion..
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