[ModernApple]

I get angry everyday. It never fails.

I seethe at home. I break things around the house.

The ONLY thing that makes me angry is thinking about my wrongdoers have got away with it. I feel like they won. They insult me. They hit me. They bullied me. They think they can take advantage of me.

Then I always think about how I should/should have exacted my revenge and it's always about physical violence. Always. I just want to beat someone up so bad.

I think and rage over incidents that happen YEARS ago. I can think up insane scenarios of how I get into a fight, win the fight and maybe get arrested or whatever.

Ironic part? I've never been a fight before.

I always let them get away with it because I try to be a good guy. Do the right thing.

The times I actually stood up for myself? I feel immensely bad right after that, feeling stupid for blowing something up.

It's a never ending cycle: People piss me off- Feel angry- Feel angrier thinking how I want to hurt them - Decide to stand up for myself more - Feel bad - Get angry again

I'm so tired of feeling like this.

My head literally hurts now whenever I get too angry.

Why is it so hard? Why is it so WEIRD, that I lead a good life and never get in trouble, but I get so angry whenever I'm alone in my room? Why do I get so pissed off whenever a single thought sets me off?

[CANDC]

Welcome to Psych Central ModernApple! Sorry to hear you are having troubles with emotions. If you have a therapist or could find one, they often help get to the root of the problem.

The following forums might help
Coping with Emotions - Forums at Psych Central

Survivors of Abuse - Forums at Psych Central

There are many articles on
Psych Central - Trusted mental health, depression, bipolar, ADHD & psychology information.

Adequate sleep helps. Exercise like Yoga or Qigong (find on youtube)

Everyone has anger. Learning to manage it is an art form.

Welcome to a place you are accepted as you are.

[vital]

Originally Posted by ModernApple

I get angry everyday. It never fails.

I seethe at home. I break things around the house.

The ONLY thing that makes me angry is thinking about my wrongdoers have got away with it. I feel like they won. They insult me. They hit me. They bullied me. They think they can take advantage of me.

Then I always think about how I should/should have exacted my revenge and it's always about physical violence. Always. I just want to beat someone up so bad.

I think and rage over incidents that happen YEARS ago. I can think up insane scenarios of how I get into a fight, win the fight and maybe get arrested or whatever.

Ironic part? I've never been a fight before.

I always let them get away with it because I try to be a good guy. Do the right thing.

The times I actually stood up for myself? I feel immensely bad right after that, feeling stupid for blowing something up.

It's a never ending cycle: People piss me off- Feel angry- Feel angrier thinking how I want to hurt them - Decide to stand up for myself more - Feel bad - Get angry again

I'm so tired of feeling like this.

My head literally hurts now whenever I get too angry.

Why is it so hard? Why is it so WEIRD, that I lead a good life and never get in trouble, but I get so angry whenever I'm alone in my room? Why do I get so pissed off whenever a single thought sets me off?

Hi. I think I do understand why your anger happens and I think it really is caused by the same underlying thing that causes depression

http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...n-escaped.html

- vital

[Anxious Minds]

I think the people that bully you only get to win when you give them so much room to get inside your head. It's bad enough that they bully you physically, but to allow their bullying to extend beyond that, to make you feel bad to your core, well, that's like giving your car to someone who is stealing your wallet.

I get it, though. If you could just turn those feelings off, you would. It's frustrating to allow people, especially people who make us feel bad, to get inside our heads. I've found that for the people who've disappointed me, who've made me angry, etc....that when I find a new perspective on them it's given me access to better feelings than anger for them.

For me it comes from one simple truth: everybody is doing the best they can with the resources they have available to them. The key of that phrase is the second part: "with the resources they have available to them." When someone does something selfish or bad, it stems almost entirely from something in THEM, not ME.

So how messed up is a person on the inside who feels they have to bully someone else? What kind of crappy life do you think a person like that might lead? I think when you begin to see the humanity inside of a person like that, it gives you more access to compassion for them. No, it doesn't make what they are doing right. No, it doesn't drive out all the anger or frustration you might feel. But it does soften your heart towards them a little. And sometimes it allows you to forgive them, because you see them as a another wounded person and not a perpetrator.

[ModernApple]

Originally Posted by vital

Hi. I think I do understand why your anger happens and I think it really is caused by the same underlying thing that causes depression


- vital

Thanks dude. I read that. Really good insights.

I may try the snapping thing, but I feel like I have to deal with something really, really deep inside of me.

[ModernApple]

Originally Posted by Anxious Minds

I think the people that bully you only get to win when you give them so much room to get inside your head. It's bad enough that they bully you physically, but to allow their bullying to extend beyond that, to make you feel bad to your core, well, that's like giving your car to someone who is stealing your wallet.

I get it, though. If you could just turn those feelings off, you would. It's frustrating to allow people, especially people who make us feel bad, to get inside our heads. I've found that for the people who've disappointed me, who've made me angry, etc....that when I find a new perspective on them it's given me access to better feelings than anger for them.

For me it comes from one simple truth: everybody is doing the best they can with the resources they have available to them. The key of that phrase is the second part: "with the resources they have available to them." When someone does something selfish or bad, it stems almost entirely from something in THEM, not ME.

So how messed up is a person on the inside who feels they have to bully someone else? What kind of crappy life do you think a person like that might lead? I think when you begin to see the humanity inside of a person like that, it gives you more access to compassion for them. No, it doesn't make what they are doing right. No, it doesn't drive out all the anger or frustration you might feel. But it does soften your heart towards them a little. And sometimes it allows you to forgive them, because you see them as a another wounded person and not a perpetrator.

I know, I know, but I honestly don't know how to take it from there.

I seem to always have this obsessive need to want to exact revenge, to actually see justice be served or else I can't move on.