[catarinafsilva]

kay so i dont even know what i am feeling, or what i am. I just barely feel anything anymore and when i feel i just so sad? Miserable? Depressed? I dont think i can.describe it its like theres nothing else around like the roof just crashed on my head and i am being smashed, like there is no objective. Like i just dont deserve hapiness. And i seryously think i will never be able to be happy because i havent felt it in a long ling time. Sure there are those not-so-bad-days that i dont feel numb or miserable, just like normal i guess, even a little content. But i am telling you its last a short amount of time. Lol really. And now here i am, just finished my self harm. And i just enjoy the pain. I look at the cuts and i just press my fingers and watever i have next to me so that it hurts. And i love it. I seriously love it. I hit the bottom

[Mike_J]

One thing about being at the bottom is there is only one way to go and that is up.

I know it sounds sappy but things can get better. I look at my scars, they remind me of where I was, and knowing that helps me appreciate where I am at now. This is a hard time of year for so many of us.

I hope you are seeing a therapist, if not please think about finding one.

[SubliminalThoughts]

Ive felt like that before. I would call it feeling empty or like a ghost. Everyones life has an objective, its just that the hard part is finding out what that is. Please don't harm yourself again, you don't deserve that. Are you seeing a therapist? When I started to see mine that emptiness went away for the most part.

[vital]

Originally Posted by catarinafsilva

kay so i dont even know what i am feeling, or what i am. I just barely feel anything anymore and when i feel i just so sad? Miserable? Depressed? I dont think i can.describe it its like theres nothing else around like the roof just crashed on my head and i am being smashed, like there is no objective. Like i just dont deserve hapiness. And i seryously think i will never be able to be happy because i havent felt it in a long ling time. Sure there are those not-so-bad-days that i dont feel numb or miserable, just like normal i guess, even a little content. But i am telling you its last a short amount of time. Lol really. And now here i am, just finished my self harm. And i just enjoy the pain. I look at the cuts and i just press my fingers and watever i have next to me so that it hurts. And i love it. I seriously love it. I hit the bottom

Hi catarinafsilva,

I really like what Mike J said about finding someone to talk to so you can take advantage of the wisdom of someone who has seen what you're going through many times.

I can personally tell you that it is possible to be seriously depressed for many years and then to completely recover. You might find some inspiration in the "depression success stories" section of this site.

- vital