[Robyn222]

[b] I am going through such a rough time. Losing DS was has been worse each day. It was a real stabilizing force for me. I feel like I am suffering a bit of a relapse. Also, I discovered the reason it is taking me so long to get a job is that my resume is so spotty for the last couple of years. I was just taking customer service jobs to supplement my income and didn't stay at places very long. And now I am terrified I won't get a job. Just sick to my stomach and it feels cold around my heart. I HAVE to get something in about a month -- HAVE TO--or I could lose everything. I have a root canal that is starting to hurt and all that I can get for free is a pulled tooth. Your face begins to cave in with that and you start to lose bone. Please god no. I am so scared and feeling so bereft about the job and of course I miss Beau more than ever. I feel so alone and frightened. I don't understand why God won't allow me to find a job that pays well and is right for me. Is that too much to ask? I feel so adrift. I wish I could convey the depth of my sense of fear and sadness. I feel SO lost. I was doing so well. And now I feel like I took a giant step back. When I look at the social work jobs available they are terrible. I mean terrible. They want you to be chief case manager ( a job in itself) and therapist (definitely a job in itself) and be in charge of like some kind of student recruitment program. OH--and the clientele---Disturbed adolescents and their totally messed up families! I tell you it is pathetic the jobs out there but I need the money. And I can't even seem to get those!!!!

I always ask for this when particularly desperate because I have no confidence in my own prayer powers. Those of you who pray, PLEASE PRAY FOR ME. Ane pray that I have money and peace of mind. Thank you.

P.S. How do you get your title in bold? I tried Html and the coding just stayed on the page.

[Reesie]

I have calmed myself by attention to breathing - slowly, counting. You are overwhelmed. Think only about your breath for a few minutes. Don't want to upset you or belittle your serious issues, but if you ground yourself you can cope better. I suggest posting in the spiritual topic for serious prayer support. "Sanctuary.. . "

I had the same resume problems as you do and I'll tell you what I did in a PM.

[Soidhonia]

Hello Robyn.
I am sorry you are so overwhelmed at this time. Perhaps if you writedown the things you need to do ansd so things one at the time it will help things to get done in a more orderly fashion. Also if you have a mental health team they can help you during this time as well so you can sort things out easier. There are also resources in your area for food, clothing, and possibly for utility bills if you are in the United States then the Salvation Army is a good place to start if you are in need of services or resources in the area as well as Job and Family services as well. Take care and good day. Soidhonia

[recluse1]

i know that feeling of desperation. i lost my job due to injury and haven't worked since sept of 06. i am stuck in a battle with work comp. and not getting anywhere. i stand to lose everything. my husband is working nonstop and all the overtime he can get to try and make ends meet. its a very scarey place to be and hate that you are going thru it. i know that helpless feeling you describe. but Soid is right. here in the US there are avenues for help. follow her advise and check into those things. also many churches in your area may have outreach programs. they are great about helping with food, bills, and even helping you job search. i hope you find the answers you seek and find the relief you need. you are in my thoughts.

recluse1

[Direction]

Are you already working with a temp agency? Sometimes they can ge a big help in getting you in the door.

I'm in a position where over the last 15 years have reviewed hundres of resumes. If you have particular area that your concerned about PM me, maybe I can help.

Sometimes gaps are concerning and other times not.

My prayers are with you...