Reconnect with a friend and crap happens

It's been a few years since I last talked with this friend and I'm struggling tonight. I know I should call and do something with someone but ...... I don't want to. Which is one thing that my t said to watch out for. I just don't want to bug who ever has the crisis phone. and I almost don't want to tell people... I know that thinking is distorted.

I realized that 6 years ago to the day was my first hospitalization, and I'm being reminded of them. I know it's not my friend's fault but I'm going through crap and he is not doing what he had planned for tonight and I feel bad about that.

Any advice??

I am not certain what you are asking. Are you struggling because of your friend? Is he not getting to do what he wants tonight because of you? It seems you are struggling because you are being triggered by memories of your first hospitalization, am I right? I think it is a good idea that you call someone to get out and do something to take your mind off these thoughts or even just share them with an anonymous person on a crisis line. it will probably make you feel better. take care.

Not struggling because of my friend. but I shared with him a few things that I normally don't share with people. Not to mention the fact that I shared with him that I was in the middle of a flashback of a sui time. It got him worried and that's what I like. I hate hearing or reading concern from others that are irl.