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SeekerOfLife
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Heart Dec 24, 2014 at 06:37 PM
  #41
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Originally Posted by waterknob1234 View Post
I thought I was having a good Christmas, then my husband talked to me like I was dirt. We had an argument and I let him have it. I told him I will not be talked to like I am trash. He apologized, but I am still upset. I will do all the family stuff and get over it eventually.


Waterknob, do not let anyone talk down to you! I spent most of my life "allowing" this. T says we teach.other people how to treat us.
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Default Dec 24, 2014 at 07:47 PM
  #42
Such a dark time, when the lights are bright and full of color. May everyone feel a glimmer of hope.

I think I will celebrate the passing of the holidays.
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Default Dec 24, 2014 at 08:41 PM
  #43
We have a tree up and that's been helpful but it just doesn't feel like Christmas is supposed to feel. This feels like hard work and I'm just so tired.

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Trig Dec 24, 2014 at 11:34 PM
  #44
Well i guess I made it through another day. Had a friend come over for a short time and then took care of snow removal. Tomorrow i have lunch with a friend but really want to be with my other friends that are more like my family. They say i am family but I wasn't invited to the cities (five hours from here) to be with them over the holidays. I guess I was wanting too much I know they care about me so that should make me feel better. I guess I am just feeling sorry for myself. Anyway, I am still here, still depressed and still feel there is little or no point to my continued existence.
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Default Dec 24, 2014 at 11:37 PM
  #45
It doesn't feel like christmas. Just moved states so no friends besides my fianc้. My anorexia thoughts are awful and my nightmares are acting up again.

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Default Dec 25, 2014 at 12:37 AM
  #46
Went to work and it was a slow day. For some strange reason, for most of the day I just got thinking about death. Some people I have known just died recently.

Mostly I got thinking, 'what or where will I be in a year from now'? Will I still have my same job? Will I still live at my same place, even though there are times when I hate it? Will I be broke? Will I be very sick, perhaps in a hospital? Will I be dead by then? All of those questions! And yet, I can't seem to ask myself more positive questions like: will I live in a better place? Will I finally be in love with someone after waiting for many decades? Will I at least have some decent friends? Will my job improve?

After work I went to visit my friend because he had a gift for me. I was disappointed when I got to his house because he and his wife were preparing bread for a church service. I thought that his wife would be gone all day; and he and I would have a chance to talk. I didn't stay very long.

When I got home, I felt very sad and empty. I worked out and it was quite an effort to do it because I felt so down. But I did it! Tonight I went to the pool area and there were some people there, much to my surprise. I was hoping to be alone there for peace and quiet. The people that were there were pretty nice, but not my type. I haven't met anyone compatible in a long time at where I live.
 
 
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Default Dec 25, 2014 at 05:07 AM
  #47
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Originally Posted by will19 View Post
Went to work and it was a slow day. For some strange reason, for most of the day I just got thinking about death. Some people I have known just died recently.

Mostly I got thinking, 'what or where will I be in a year from now'? Will I still have my same job? Will I still live at my same place, even though there are times when I hate it? Will I be broke? Will I be very sick, perhaps in a hospital? Will I be dead by then? All of those questions! And yet, I can't seem to ask myself more positive questions like: will I live in a better place? Will I finally be in love with someone after waiting for many decades? Will I at least have some decent friends? Will my job improve?

After work I went to visit my friend because he had a gift for me. I was disappointed when I got to his house because he and his wife were preparing bread for a church service. I thought that his wife would be gone all day; and he and I would have a chance to talk. I didn't stay very long.

When I got home, I felt very sad and empty. I worked out and it was quite an effort to do it because I felt so down. But I did it! Tonight I went to the pool area and there were some people there, much to my surprise. I was hoping to be alone there for peace and quiet. The people that were there were pretty nice, but not my type. I haven't met anyone compatible in a long time at where I live.
Maybe it is time for you to take a bit of risk (more than before) so 2015 is different and you like it more than 2014. Sending you a hug

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Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out. Vaclav Havel
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Default Dec 25, 2014 at 07:38 AM
  #48
depressed about christmas, depressed about new year, depressed about the prospect of this year ending,

i'm not doing good.
 
 
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Default Dec 25, 2014 at 07:48 AM
  #49
Who was I trying to kid? No one but myself of course. But how could I ever have imagined that someone could love something like me?
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Default Dec 25, 2014 at 08:03 AM
  #50
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Originally Posted by Shriveled Muse View Post
Who was I trying to kid? No one but myself of course. But how could I ever have imagined that someone could love something like me?


we love you here!. (i know it's not the same), but we do
 
 
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Default Dec 25, 2014 at 09:29 AM
  #51
Trying to remember the true meaning for me, as a Catholic. Thinking about anything else, is overwhelmingly sad for me.

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Default Dec 25, 2014 at 09:46 AM
  #52
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we love you here!. (i know it's not the same), but we do
Thank you ^^ It means a lot~~
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Default Dec 25, 2014 at 10:39 AM
  #53
Today i had sudden success with university exams. It raised my mood a little and i thought for one microsecond, by the habit, that "i need to tell my girlfriend and bestfriend about it" and then i remembered that i don't have neither girlfriend or bestfriend anymore...It sucks to have almost nobody to share some good news with. My mood is down again.
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Default Dec 25, 2014 at 11:23 AM
  #54
feeling miserable and terrible
 
 
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Default Dec 25, 2014 at 11:50 AM
  #55
I'm good - Xmas presents were awesome this year! New laptop! Now I don't have to beg for the old, slow family laptop, or worry about my parents finding out what I do online! Also got a cool light-up fountain thing and Bath & Body Works perfume/lotion. (I ♥ Bath and Body Works). Silver hoop earring too, I love them. :3

Emotionally, I don't know. I'm hyped up from all the cool gifts, but I'm worried about tonight - when my parents start drinking/fighting. They fought until midnight last night, then fought again at 4 am. So I didn't sleep much, understandably...
 
 
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Default Dec 25, 2014 at 02:55 PM
  #56
I spoke to a friend I met inpatient who's been gone almost a year for treatment. I haven't heard her voice in so long. Can't wait to see her.

Mood's been good. Got to work on myself, get into a routine, help out at home. I'm making it a point not to stay in the bedroom. So far so good.
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Default Dec 25, 2014 at 06:57 PM
  #57
Woke up having dreadful feelings. After eating breakfast, I felt better. But in the morning I felt pretty blue. It was a cloudy morning.

Since being alone for Christmas I thought that I could keep myself busy a little bit and go on a long bike ride. I did go on a three hour bike ride today and it turned out to be a very nice day. All morning it had been cloudy. At noon it rained a little bit and very dark. I left at 12:30 when it was still cloudy, but no rain. But I could see towards the west that it was all blue skies.

Feeling much better after the bike ride. Nothing much lined up for the rest of the afternoon and evening. My only friend that I have is gone and will not be back until tomorrow evening. I really miss him.
 
 
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Default Dec 26, 2014 at 01:01 AM
  #58
Feeling chronically lonely. My friend's list across all messengers is dwindling, and I feel so isolated most of the time. Depression is kicking my butt as of late. I remain lonely, perpetually sad, hungry, and just so dang exhausted.

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Default Dec 26, 2014 at 07:23 AM
  #59
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Originally Posted by Mefisto View Post
Today i had sudden success with university exams. It raised my mood a little and i thought for one microsecond, by the habit, that "i need to tell my girlfriend and bestfriend about it" and then i remembered that i don't have neither girlfriend or bestfriend anymore...It sucks to have almost nobody to share some good news with. My mood is down again.
Hey friend,, I wanted to put thanks under your post because, at least you had sudden success with your university exams. Be proud man, it is gonna take its time getting over what you felt was so hurtful to you. Remember they will live with their own hurts and mistakes and eventually, I do promise you, even if it takes almost half or more of your life, you will realize it gets better.
You can do this, move on... keep taking steps.
 
 
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Default Dec 26, 2014 at 07:25 AM
  #60
There is something wrong with me that I can't explain, so tired, but I know the pit. I hope you all had as best a christmas as can be and a happier and healthier new year friends.
 
 
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