[VB1313]

I dunno. I read a few of the posts in the "depression success stories" area and came away feeling more resentful than ever. Maybe I'm wrong, but I got that same smug sense I get from people who've never experienced real depression. That same old "you're not trying hard enough" "just snap out of it" and "if you're still depressed it's because you lack willpower and basically suck as a human being."

I came here looking for people who understand what it's like.

I can have smug assholes call my depression a character flaw instead of an illness anywhere, I don't need to come here for that.

I dunno. Well I might be back, I might not. I really don't know right now. I hope I'm wrong, but... I don't think I am.

[Altered Moment]

Trust me I understand what it is like. I think you will find lots of people in the depression section who really know what it's like and won't tell you to snap out of it. In the depression success stories there are only three or four that say they have had lasting success. Some of those were the only post they ever made here.

There are lots of understanding non judgemental people in this section who know what it's like not to be able to get out of bed or take a shower for weeks and only want to die.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[bronzeowl]

I think Zinco is right. I don't read the success stories often - mostly because I'm afraid to, I do admit - but I have frequented the depression board for the past three years (off and on, as I'm a 'rolling stone' and come and go as I please) and have found that most people here are very understanding, and don't have the 'snap out of it' mentality. I'm sure there may be exceptions, but even people with depression are individuals and have very different personalities.

I do hope you come back. I have found PC to be, perhaps, the most helpful support forum I'm on of all the ones I've joined (and that's quite a bit). I've stuck around it the longest for a reason, after all.

[Anxious Minds]

i can see why you might feel resentment. When you can't just turn off the feelings of depression, hearing people give you cliche advice can make you angry. I used to get so annoyed with the advice I got because I knew the people giving it just didn't understand what it was like.

But the truth is far less seductive than the cliche stuff. The truth is you may never rid yourself of depression. It's something you live with, and it defines you. So, when you hear stories of people beating it, it definitely makes you skeptical. But I don't think people are lying about their success or don't really know what it's like. When I hear success stories, I see people who have won a particular battle in a long war, one that may never truly end.

But in the end, what other people say and do isn't the important thing. There's only what you do, and the ways you live with your depression. You can't flip a switch, and sometimes the darkness is too strong and can leave you feeling hopeless. What matters is asking yourself the right questions and figuring out why your impulse is resentment. That feeling can tell you a lot about yourself if you're willing to look. When is the first time you felt that feeling? Where were you? What happened? What did you start believing about yourself in that moment?

Those types of questions are gold for coming to terms with depression. It helps to release the pent up stuff so that when the storm hits, you aren't recoiling from past wounds.

[Altered Moment]

I think I can trace my resentment back. It is rooted in shame for sure. I started getting depressions when I was 13. I managed to hold it together through high school and get good grades and play sports and all that. (Lots of pot and alcohol were involved...self medicating). When I started college I did real good the first semester and then things started to really fall apart. I couldn't get out of bed and make it to class. I got all D's and maybe a C. Of course my parents thought I was just being a lazy bum. This was 1983. I had no idea what was wrong with me but I knew something was wrong. The word depression never came up. I internalized all the expectations my parents and society had of me and when I couldn't live up to them I was deeply ashamed. I left my home town and family when I was 19 and dropped out of college because I couldn't take it.

I ended up becoming a plumber. Because of my intelligence I did very well and they made me a foreman at a young age and I went up the pay scale. I only maintained and coped because of lots of drug and alcohol use. I would have periods of depression where I was just dragging butt. My long time boss who I was good friends with I absolutely hated at times because he would come to my house and lecture me on motivation and how I needed to be more motivated and this and that. The word depression had still never entered my head. I had no idea why I had such low energy and motivation most of the time and why it was so hard for me to get motivated.

At 32 I got diagnosed with depression and started getting treatment of various kinds including meds. A couple of months later I got clean and sober. After being clean and sober a couple of years the $hit hit the fan and my depressions got much much worse. No more drugs and alcohol.

I am pretty emotionally resilient overall from all the therapy and AA. And thick skinned from working on a construction site my whole life. But when someone gives me that cliched quick fix advise on my depression I get very defensive and angry. Underneath is still the shame of being the way I am. I am much much better than ever and I have pretty much accepted myself the way I am. If I am in a deep depression though it is much harder. My sister in law is a good example of someone who is very opinionated and not afraid to give me her advice. Oh it drives me crazy and I will argue endlessly with her about the nature of depression and all the things I have done to fix it.

I am selective in who I talk about it with and luckily have a good support network, but when you are in the middle of a very severe months long depression people notice and will make their little comments.

I have found that most people want to help and feel powerless so they have to come up with some way to fix you rather than just listen and understand and not judge. There are always those who do think you are just a lazy bum and should just snap out of it. At the root of it for me it is a matter of shame and self acceptance. It doesn't matter what other people think if I am content with who I am. Taken a long time to get there and when I am depressed it is really hard to keep that shame and fear at bay.

Anxious minds is very wise and in my case I have had to learn to live with it the best I can. I can make you a list a mile long of everything I have done and how hard I have worked at treating it over the last twenty years. For me it is about making peace with it and managing my life the best I can in the face of it. Currently I am on a set of meds that are working very well and for that I am grateful. To be honest though in the last six years things have gotten much much worse than they ever have been despite all the non med treatment.

[Altered Moment]

I just noticed your website Anxious Minds. I am going to really check that out. I really should build my own similar website. I am very good at building websites so why not one like yours.

Home - The Cure for the Anxious Mind

[Altered Moment]

VB1313

I did a survey of the depression success stories recently because I was interested. Like I said i think there may only be four or five that report long term success and we have no way to know if they have relapsed. I counted them even if it was only three or four good days which doesn't really count as a success story. The vast majority of people don't come here to tell of their success, they come looking for support when hurting. Probably many people out there who have had great success with meds or therapy or other means and are just living life and are not going to come to this site. Anyway here is what I found.

I decided to survey the initial posts in all the “Depression Success Stories” threads. I only read the initial post and not the whole thread. I was curious as to what worked good enough to prompt people to post in that section. They range in describing two days of feeling good to total recovery. There is no way to know if people relapsed into depression later or not and I didn’t read the thread to see if there was follow up reporting. I happen to think there are a whole lot more depression success stories out there and that people are more likely to come to this site for support when not doing good. But there are 36 threads. Some by people who only have 1 post ever. Not every thread is a success story. If someone said they had a good day I didn’t count those.
Here is what I found based on just the initial post whether it was a short period of success or full recovery reported.

Depression Success Stories

Snap Club- 1

Meditation- 1

Medication- 4

Medication/ 12 step recovery 1

Living with/ Managing 1

Kratom 1

Friends/ Support 1

True to self/ Higher Power 1

Mind over Matter/ Positive thinking/ positive action/ change reality 1

Not sure/ Lots of hard work 1

Medication/ meditation/ spiritual path/ support 1

“Fake it till you make it.” 1

Subliminal meditation/ binaural beats 1

CBT/ honesty/ walking through fears 1

Brahmari Yoga 1

Medication/ therapy/ vitamin D for SAD 1

Medication/ light therapy 1

Supplements/ therapy/ support 1

If you include stories that include medication as part of the solution and kratom then it is 9 out of 20. 3 say totally a form of meditation and 5 total solely or at least in part meditation. 1 was CBT totally and 1 was therapy in combination. Everything else 1. I don’t consider it a very good sampling but it was interesting to look at.

[lonely-and-sad]

I too suspect that the depression one might have would be not so severe or chronic as the op suggests.

Believe me VB1313, I understand what depression is like. I have most recently suffered a severe, long-lasting bipolar depressive episode, and I know that someone experiencing clinical depression can't just "snap out of it." I know that I can post anything in the Depression section on this forum and there will be a wealth of people who understand and do not judge. I hope you hang around if you want some good support.

[-jimi-]

Deep depression is terrible. It's so awful I basically only remember how it was if I try really hard to remember. I guess I don't want to remember. Somewhere in the back of my mind is the though what happens if my med stops working...

[-jimi-]

I should add I don't really get how someone can sort of activate themselves out of it. Like have a plan for it and then energy to do it. When I was at my sickest I couldn't sit there and plan how to work with it. All my energy was on pure survival.