The Hole in my heart continues to spread

I have the most beautiful 3.5 yo granddaughter and there is a great divide between us. She was our first grand-child (biological), we have two step grandsons.

When I say beautiful, even she knows she is beautiful. There is something about biracial children.

From the beginning she has not had much to do with me. As an infant she would never let me hold her for any period of time. She wanted no one other than her granny or her mother and many times, granny won out. The harder I tried to get closer the harder she tried to keep me away.

Her granny and mother constantly fall to her every whim and there is no discipline involved. Well guess what? I am the disciplinarian (or at least attempt to be), and she hates me for it.

She does not hesitate to tell me "I can do what I want and you can't stop me". Sad part is that she's right. I get no support from her mother or granny as they are too busy telling her everything is alright and babying her.

There is absolutely no respect for me when it comes to her. She walks in the door, growls as me and proceeds to go to granny, not a hello or whatever. The only time I get any attention is when she is told to come to me.

I love her to death and this is ripping me apart. I can hardly write this through the tears.

I do not know how much more I can take. Everytime she wants to come to our house, I cringe, because I know it will all end in a fight and she will go into this horrid screaming fit.

((((lostinitall)))))

I am so sorry to hear about your struggle with your granddaughter. I do not think this is personal. She is only 3 and and 1/2. She may just be in a stage right now. The one great thing on your side is time. I would keep being there for her in mind and body but if you have to just put up with her fits, then let it happen and continue to be present for her as she will know you were there and she should grow out of this. I know it is hard but maybe time is all that has to happen.

I'm sorry you are having to go through this. It should be such a joyous time for you. I'm not sure what you can do if your wife and daughter aren't willing to help you out. I hope things get better for you as time goes by. I know it must be very painful for you.

Thanks sideblined! I don't know if she will ever outgrow this, it seems the older she gets the worse it gets. All I can do is pray that it changes.

Thank you Gayle! It is very painful and I keep praying it will get better.

I am sorry for your suffering although I am more concerned about your granddaughter, your wife and daughter may be wrong in the way they are raising her. Perhaps this website could be of help ZERO TO THREE: Challenging Behaviors Tips and Tools