Depression maybe University related?

Hi everyone,
I'd just like to say if you take the time read this post, I'm very appreciative of it.
I'm I8 and currently in my first year of university. I suffer from depression, anxiety and OCD. Before I entered university, I always had a very high stress levels and a low tolerance for pressure academically but there came a point in my life when studying actually became an escape from a few problems at home. I created many aspirations in my mind of wanting a successful career, going to a great university, and I achieved the goal. I do go to a very good university, studying the course I wanted to. However I'm the same person, with the same poor tolerance for pressure and stress, the same feelings of hopelessness and depression and nothing seems worthwhile to me any more. The motivations I created don't seem possible and I question how I can ever have a normal life and a good career with mental health disorders getting in the way of my every day functioning. Often, I think leaving university and finding something to do that makes me happy that I am good at would make me healthier, but what could that be? Even I don't know. So I ask some of you fellow depression suffers, does the circumstance you're in change who you are or do your circumstances follow you wherever you go? In simpler terms, would leaving university help my problem, or does my problem need to be resolved irrespective of where I am?

Lizi18

Hi Lizi,

This sort of sounds like me. I was depressed for most of my life and used studying as a way to escape. It's probably one of the best ways of coping with what we have (although I don't have depression anymore ! ).

Speaking as an anonymous guy on the internet, why not keep up your studies at University and get healthier and happier at the same time? I think you'll find that getting healthier and happier helps everything, including the studies. My best suggestions for what to do are here

http://forums.psychcentral.com/4162657-post74.html

- vital

I can relate to your problems. For me, it was that I couldn't enjoy anything but I had the goal to get a good degree at a prestigious university. Depression only got worse over time and I lost any goals I had, but I'm still finishing my degree as I have nothing else going in my life and nothing would make me happy. Studying doesn't even help to escape anymore, since I can't concentrate and have trouble thinking. Yet, it's still possible and I manage somehow. So maybe stay in university and try to do something about depression. I think making such significant life decisions shouldn't be done in an emotional state.

Lizi, have you considered taking a semester or two off of your studies to evaluate your mental health condition without the stresses of class? I've been in and out of college a few times (I think I'm a sophomore?) just to allow time for my brain to pacify. You could address your concerns with an on-campus counselor if that's a possibility. I personally stay in school because it gives my life direction. I cannot be trusted to direct every aspect of my life. Depression limits my everyday functioning, but at least I have a path to follow. I hope you find the answer!

Perhaps University is adding to your stress as the support you had at school and perhaps at home is lacking. First year can also be a bit uninspiring work wise.

Young people at university are rather vulnerable to setbacks, but it need not be that way. Universities have counsellors to help students with the very common difficulties of adjustment - there is no shame in seeking help and in fact you might say you deserve help. After all you did well to get into a good university and the course you wanted - it is not easy and can come at some psychological cost.

Try to think on the positives - you may be skint and have some demanding work to do with a short timescale and little support, but it is interesting, you have more freedom than you will have later in life, lots of similarly young people and there is no rational reason to suppose you cannot do well.

I would guess on not much to go on that seeking help and toughing it out to the next holidays to see how you feel is called for here rather than quitting.

Hi Vital,

I'l certainly take the time to explore the link you provided. I'm so happy for you for recovering from depression. It must feel like you're free in a way and can do whatever you want in life without a chronic low mood keeping you down! Yes, I know what you're saying is true and It's very good advice although it's never what I want to here. Nothing really get's better until you get healthier and happier so It may as well be done alongside my studies. Sometimes is just nice to think that escaping the "stress" will fix all your problems but I guess only I can. Thanks for the advice and I hope you stay depression free

Hi tz90,

You sound a lot like myself so even though it feels like you still have those difficult times it's really encouraging and even inspirational to know that you're still finishing a degree and working towards your goals! Yes, I know what it's like, I have a lot of trouble focusing my mind and completing assignments whereas there was a time that I could work for hours and just forget everything. I very much agree that making a massive decision could be risky with my current mind frame so I will look into studying alongside seeking treatment for my depression. Thanks for the advice. I hope finishing your degree will help you look forward to a bright future. Best of luck with everything

Hi querty_kid,

Yes, I actually was really considering taking a "leave of absence" which my university permits for any health conditions including mental health. After speaking to a lot of welfare tutors within the university It really wasn't spoken well of, and was not advised unless as they told me I'd really need to be sure of what I'd "do" during that time and be confident that would help. I would like to take a mental breather, but I really understand what you said about school giving your life "direction". I personally don't think I'd be a very productive member of society if I didn't have school, It's helps me to not be as reclusive I suppose. Good on you for taking the time you need whilst still completing your studies. I love what you said at the end and I agree. Depression may limit my everyday functioning but I do have a path to follow. Best of luck with everything and thanks!

Hi ManOfConstantSorrow,

Ah yes I agree, the first year is always a difficult time I'd say for most students although they do make it seem like their adjusting effortlessly. I do feel as though since I've moved away, most of the coping mechanisms and comforts that really buffered all the effects of stress and stress related depression are gone, so it is a lot more difficult to manage. Being in a different city and unfamiliar never really helps either. You are right though, I did seek out some counselling during my first semester, and considering I was going to leave and not return after Christmas, It seemed to have helped to bring me back here.

haha, yes, skint indeed but it is a process that people say provides an experience and probably more "freedom" as you say than any other stage in life so I will try to look at it in terms of that and the opportunities I have. As you said, putting my efforts into my studies did come a psychological cost but I'm looking to seek help and possibly involve myself in more activities alongside university and hopefully it will pay off.

Much appreciated for the advice