an outlet !!!

looking for an outlet, im hoping me writing tonight will be that outlet.
my moods have been changing so much the last few days, well more like the last week or so,
i have tried to go with the flow, and ride out the bad times, but the fact that i am the cause of my 13 year old daughter to start cutting herself is doing me in.
i want to hug her and tell her i love her, tell her i understand, but i cant......... because she doesnt know that we know what shes doing, and again that is doing me in.
sorry for going on and on and on and on and on but i needed some outlet
sorry again
dec

Hi,
You need to let her know that you know and that you understand and be there for her. I think she needs to be "heard".
Please, go talk to her and give her lots of hugs.

I agree...

Though my now 11 year old doesn't really understand my hospitals stays 3 years ago, I try to help him - too much like me stuffing feelings.

So on occasion we will talk aobut stuffing feelings vs. assertiveness vs aggressivenes.

Anyway - I agree with Jax...

Hi, I have also found this place to be a wonderful outlet. And I get some pretty good advice and always wonderful support. Kids are tough. I have never been in your position, so I don't have much I can offer you in the way of advice. I am a cutter and I know my behavior sometimes hurts those around me...I am sorry you are going through this. Keep posting--maybe it will help.

Please let your daughter know that you know. expect her to react in a big way, maybe yelling, maybe just a breakdown. let her know that you WANT to know why she does it. let her know that you DO care. I know that it is hard not to want to tell her that it's dumb to do and she shoud just stop, but she wont listen if you do that. I had a father who never noticed that i was depressed or suicidal and all i felt from that was more pain. i wish that he would have sat me down and told me how he loved me and then made me go to therapy. i would have hated him for it at the time, but i would love him for it now

(((((((((((((dec)))))))))))))

i toohave 2 teens, they have both cut b4 now, daughter started bulaemic tendencies

i blame myself and my condition, but they tell me i dont understand and it's not me. i have also been told by others it's beyond my control. i tell them i love them and that they are hurting me by doing these things, but i still blame myself. they say it's not my fault and they need to do this. not so bad now as far as i am aware i watch them like hawks. they seem to be getting over it.

hope you can sort of understand what i'm saying, love you, here for you and katheryn.

love kerry xoxoxoxox

Please talk to her Dec - and she will react!
(from someone who's parents didn't talk to me.... in a big way )

(((((((((((((((((( Dec ))))))))))))))))

talk to her bout it,,, otherwise it will get nowhere. try to get her in a good mood though.... how could you have been the cause??? there is no logical way u r the cause......
try not to get her to stop, just ask that she comes to u 2 with her probs instead of taking it out on herself. try not to come across as too upset and worried, she needs a rock to cling to.... good luck

ps, try not to get her to stop = try not to force her, sorry...heheh good luck again

Why are you sure you are the cause of her self harm?

If you can't talk to her face to face, try another way. But no one should take blame, imo.

If you can't discuss it at all... then try some things to increase her self esteem... coming from you should do a double good whammy on her

(((((((Dec)))))))))))

dec, how could you be the reason your daughter cuts? just talk to her and hold her....tell her that she can talk to you and as someone else said, don't yell or say it's stupid. my niece did that with my great-niece and it only made it worse......keep talking to us.....we care for you.........xoxoxo pat