[i dont matter]

** Trigger warning **






Do not read this if you are feeling unstable or you get upset easily.





HISTORY: I have one suicide attempt in 2014, and numerous attempts back in 2010.

I am now on several meds and I have had some "better" days lately. So, I do kind of think the meds are working - but then I still have bad days too (dark days is what I call them)..... But I had been feeling like I finally broke out of my depression that had me in a very bad place (mentally) for several years.

SITUATION: Okay, that all said.... I was driving home from work on Tuesday. Kind of just zoning out as I drove. Mentally numb. When my subconscious saw an area in the construction zone that I was driving through that was a great place to crash my car (and I sort of remember thinking - F*** it). My subconscious started veering toward the wall....... My conscious mind SNAPPED back and I jerked my car back into its lane and safely drove home.

But this concerns me.

Is my depression coming back?

Do I have these mental vacations often?? And if so, am I putting anyone else at risk?

Should I be worried??

THOUGHTS?

[striking]

You should speak to someone soon about this. Impulsive behavior puts you and anyone in the area at risk.

Take care and be safe.

[Frankbtl]

Hi IDM, already talked but again, great things are improving for you
And just thinking back..........some impulsive actions/thoughts aren't new to you are they, if I'm right??? And apologies if I aren't!!!! And maybe a trigger somewhere in your day???
So good the meds are helping overall a bit, just maybe they aren't quite at that "therapeutic" dosage quite yet??? It can sometimes take a while to adapt to new medications, to find a "balance", so maybe need adjusting again.??? Might also relieve some of those bad days too........
So I'd say things are looking more positive, you are on the right tracks, just some more help in that moving forward, hey?? And talk to your doctor/pdoc soon, yes??
And those dark days.........I know it can be really hard to find any energy, motivation, point in, even want to really talk to people on days like those...........but please try to drop by here for some support if there's no-one else you can talk to, or anytime you need it.
Here for you............

Alison

[vital]

Originally Posted by i dont matter

THOUGHTS?

I would very definitely talk to your M.D. about it on Monday morning and avoid putting yourself in dangerous situations until then. Suicidal urges are a side-effect of some psych meds. Whatever you're doing be careful to take your meds absolutely steadily and only change anything together with your M.D.

I know it sounds silly, but people are really bad about taking meds every single day without fail. Unless you have one of those pill organizers (which I really recommend), it's very easy to forget if you've taken something or double take by mistake or suddenly run out of something on the weekend.

- vital